Careful Considerations from Cleveland

My favorite quote from D. L. Moody occurred when he was asked if he was filled with the Holy Spirit, to which he replied, "Yes, but I leak."
Maybe we all leak a little.

Throughout this journey of the last 20 months, I have tried to be very careful as to what I said God was doing or what He had done in my body concerning the tumors, diagnosis of cancer, and the various medical issues I have endured.
The reason is because throughout my entire life I have seen people claim "miracles" of God that could easily be attributed to some other reason.
I have witness people say that they "felt" the Lord directing them to do something that was clearly unbiblical.

I did not want to be THE guy who claimed God had done something and then it was clearly proved He did not; thus, God's character suffering because of my high hopes.
I was not going to be the one who placed a stumbling block in front of an unbeliever with my words, claiming what God had done and be wrong.
I'm sure many know THAT guy and I was not going to be him.
No...instead, I have a settled, steady faith; a faith that knows God is capable of anything my mind can conceive and an unlimited number of things of which I have never dreamt.

Recently, my team of doctors at the Cleveland Clinic removed my spleen; at the time of this writing, it has been less than a week and I appropriately feel like someone has sliced my abdomen in four places and removed an organ.
And certainly, I can tell you without a doubt in my body, I feel so much better tonight than last week because I am not in the massive pain I so recently experienced.

I really didn't want to lose my spleen; I'd grown quite attached to it, but it was indeed the best decision - that's why we trust the doctors to do what they do best.

As I began to recover from what I affectionately my 'Alien Removal,' I remembered a blog I had written concerning tumors in my spleen.
In November 2012, 'An Ex-SPLEENation' was written explaining a decision made by my doctors, then reversing themselves, on the removal of my spleen back then.

The doctors had seen a tumor in my spleen and at the time they believed the cancer had 
spread; their solution was to remove it.
Yet, after a CT Scan, their concerns evaporated and reported that they could not find anything in the spleen at that time.
I went back and read that blog once again, attempting to determine what was going on with my body and what has happened recently.

I mean, seriously, I just had my favorite spleen removed, so what gives?

I do not understand everything that has happened to me; I cannot even begin to attempt to do so, for it is mind-boggling when you become the object of an act of God.
Yet, I still believe what I said in that blog; I had claimed the absence of the tumors as a "miracle,' an act of God to suspend the laws of nature on my behalf.
I also stated that I expected even greater movements of God in my body.

So, how an I to explain what has happened now?
Am I to believe that the doctors were wrong in 2012, leaving this situation for doctors in 2014?
I don't think so.
I do think that some of the answer can be found in the verse I quoted in that blog from the Apostle Paul's letter to the church at Ephesus.

The Apostle teaches us that we are:
               '...Predestined according to the purpose of the One
                who works out everything in agreement with the 
                decision of His will, so that we who had already 
                put our hope in Christ might bring praise to His glory.'

                                                                             - Ephesians 1:11

The promise of Paul is still valid; my pain, my suffering - somehow this removal of my spleen, the analyzation of the tumors within it, and the results which will come from this situation - all of it will somehow bring praise to Christ and glorify Him. 

In the past, I claimed the absence of tumors as a miracle; I believe that is still true.
Did Mary and Martha debate the miracle of Christ with their brother when the time came and Lazarus died a second time?
No, they did not; nor should I be ungrateful for what He has already done simply because I cannot fully explain what He's doing now.

You see, grace is not magic; it is a healing balm which is activated by a daily dependence on God Himself. And I am thankful for the grace God has given me in each and every moment.

I saw the images of my spleen in 2012; there were tumors in an earlier one and in a later one they had disappeared.
I again saw the images last week; this time 2012 was compared with 2014 and the tumors were visible and very real.
I don't think God put them back in my spleen because of some sin; I don't think He's using me as an example and I don't think it is a punishment or a test.
But I cannot fully explain what God is doing; I'm not sure I would want to know if I could.

One thing I do know is that my attitude is continuing to change, my faith is continuing to grow and my character is developing; and I know that God values these things in my life more than He values my comfort.

When it is obvious God act or moves, His achievements in and through our lives do not always garner the results we expect.
For example, instead of destroying evil in the world, He allowed His Son to die so that He could live within us and conquer evil through us - one life at a time.
Even after Adam sinned, God judged humanity worth being rescued and in His Son, we can be rescued.

The whole point of Jesus coming to earth was for the redemption of fallen humanity; almost every person on the planet did not understand this fact at the time.
And if they didn't understand this act of God, which is the greatest of all time, I do not think tumors appearing in my spleen are all that necessary to be concerned about.
For I know, God is still moving, acting and doing something even now as I remain thankful for what He has done and what He is continuing to do in my life.

We refer to the day Jesus died as "Good Friday."
The reason we call it that is because the story does not end on a Cross, it ends with the promise of redemption.
And it is through that redemption, where one day we will be made complete.

And I truly look forward to that day and the completeness God alone will provide on that day.

Until next time, win one for the good guys.