Perception and Reality

It has been said that perception is a person's reality, whether the perception is true or not.
Within the Body of Christ, this cannot be true.

I don't mean to say a Christian cannot perceive wrongly because that would be false. What I do mean to say is that we, as Christians, CANNOT allow our perceptions to dictate our reality.
The reason is because reality is dictated by God, and our perceptions in life are always changing; God does not and will not change.

Christians have been given the wonderful blessing of the Holy Spirit; it is the Holy Spirit by which we perceive with, rather than what we perceive. 
He gives us spiritual recognition so that we grow and mature; changing our once hardened view to something much more compassionate.
For example, in time we gradually learn to view and care for the 'least of these' just as God does.

To be sure, by definition, the Holy Spirit is invisible; but that does not mean He cannot be seen.
God came to us in flesh, He became one of us in His Son so that we could experience the fullness of who He is in our material world.
God, still today, takes on flesh - our own flesh - and we still experience His work in our world.

Now, you would think since Christians have the Holy Spirit within them, the history of the Church as the Body of Christ would be stacked full of triumph after triumph and giving birth to a world that is progressively getting more glorious as the seconds pass on the clocks of humanity.
Think again.

As we read the history of the Church, our history is speckled and off-color at best.
We have God's Word and God's Spirit, but the truth is that we just don't embody God as well as Jesus did when He was on the Earth.
Without question, nobody had to ask if God cared about them - all they had to do was point to Jesus and they knew God cared, because a caring, compassionate Lord was in their midst.
The same should be able to be said of the Body of Christ today, His church in the world; but many times, instead of breaking down walls, we will construct barriers in our hearts and our pews.

As I watch my television screen, from time to time I see men and women calling great fires from God down on their services. 
I see these people attempt to command the Holy Spirit to do heal certain ailments or to financially 'bless' those who are abundantly giving to that particular ministry.
Oddly, I don't see what good comes from or what glory to God is derived from attempting to control the Spirit of God like a personal pet.
And I have to wonder what the poor and homeless veteran on the streets of Los Angeles thinks of the mansion a local minister lives in - especially when we know Jesus didn't even have a home of His own.

It's no wonder so many perceive Christians as phony and ministers as charlatans. 

Scripture tells us 'all creation groans,' awaiting the fulfillment of God.
And it is true; not just spiritually but physically and audibly as well.
Creation actually emits a low frequency sound, something like what we would call a distress signal.
And in our spiritual lives, we too groan in our own ways. 

Humans give off their own distress signals; sometimes it is in tears over a lost loved one. At other times it comes as a nervous chuckle when diagnosed with cancer.
But whatever or however it comes to our lives, when we do not know how to pray or approach the Father - it is the Holy Spirit who does, giving our requests to God as if He has heard a child's soundless cry.

Before I had children, a friend told me that he could pick his child's cry out among all the children on a playground. Truthfully, I didn't believe it.
Not long after we had children - I realized how true this ability is in reality.
I was also told that a mother can distinguish between the different types of cries and sounds, indicating what is going on with the the child.
While true, the Holy Spirit has a sensitivity beyond the wisest and most attentive mother.

You see, the Holy Spirit isn't an 'access' to an inner voice before God; the Holy Spirit is the voice of God Himself.
As we mature and grow, His sensitivity and ability to distinguish is slowly gained in our spiritual preceptors. 
It would be nice if we had this ability from the outset of our Christian walk, we would have been better witnesses; but it takes time to develop once we've been recovered from the Fall.
In my life, especially since I have been sick, I have wished I could go back even as far as High School and be the person God has been honing me to be from the beginning.
But I'm sure I'm not alone - maybe that's why they call Christianity a 'journey.'

General George S. Patton

The truth is that many who reject God aren't rejecting Him but a caricature of Him that we have given the world as the Church.
In World War II, General George Patton slapped a shell-shocked soldier, believing him to be a coward. American newspapers got wind of the event and caricatures appeared of Patton with a Nazi Swastika on his boot.
All the good he had done and would do in defeating the Third Reich was seemingly forgotten.
Sadly, when the world looks on the church, they tend to do the same.

The Church as the Body of Christ has led the way for the past 2,000 years in justice, in works of literature, in medicine and medical developments, in education, in the creative arts and in civil rights for all people.
Yet, to be fair, the Church has also led in the Crusades, the Inquisition, it has led the way in antisemitism, the church has led or supported in many nations the suppression of women, minorities and certainly was in support of the slave trade.
It is these things, the later not the former, by which we are judged.

Though these things are true, Christ stated that it was good He was going away; for by going away and returning later, He could send the Comforter, the Holy Spirit.

Many years ago, King Henry V of England led a campaign into France to reclaim lands he believed rightfully belonged to the English crown.
The story is told that the King knew his troops were exhausted, ill fed and struggling; so, he

King Henry V

disguised himself as a common soldier and circulated among his troops so that he might inspire hope and instill his confidence into them so that they would be able to see what he could see and fight with the passion he would fight with along side of them.

On 25 October 1415, the French intercepted Henry's soldiers on the plains near a village called Agincourt.
Though the English were outnumbered, malnourished and exhausted - that battle became one of England's greatest victories.

What Henry V was able to do with his soldiers, God does the same through the Holy Spirit in each of His children.
Sometimes it may seem like God has set us loose in the world; but it isn't so.
Through His Spirit, God is always present - He has come along side of us so that He might give us His confidence and strength in the world which stands opposed to all of who He is and what He seeks to do.

Many times, when we have problems or trials in our lives, we seek out God and want Him to come down and help us.
Friend, you may want Him to come - but we must acknowledge that God is already here. 
He is an ever-present Lord in our time of need and in our time of rejoicing.

Until next time, win one for the good guys.

Dissecting Life

I've never been one of those who wanted to tear things apart just to see how they worked.
It's not because I'm not curious; it's more because I'd rather the thing work than to have pieces and parts laying all over the place trying to remember where they go.
My brother-in-law is just the opposite - but I digress.

Yet there are many who reduce things in life or even life itself down to the lowest possible denominator in an attempt to figure it all out.
These are called Reductionists - and it is because of their work that we have advanced in our learning and technology many times throughout the ages.

For example - want to build a helicopter? 
Just figure out how a wasp or a hummingbird do what they do naturally and maybe we can make it work with iron and steel synthetically. 

There are others who do just the opposite, people like me who try or can see how everything in life and in the world fits together and connects.
People like me drive those who find a crisis behind every corner absolutely nuts because we can easily see the big picture and how it works together.

For example - don't worry about the Polar Ice Caps melting, in the last 10 years they've actually grown. We've just been given bad data - it's warmer because the air is cleaner and the earth is going through another natural cycle. 
The fossils of palm trees in the arctic circle can teach us much about where we're heading because it shows us where we've been.

Now, which ever group you may fall into personally, our age certainly excels at the first but falters in the second.
Over and over it has proven true that it is much easier to tear things apart than to create what does not yet exist.
Take music for an example, do you really believe that we have improved on the greatest works of Beethoven or Tchaikovsky? 
The descent from Do-Wop to Rap Music in the 20th Century ought to be enough to prove my proposition.

Mona Lisa

But we could also look at modern art.
Does modern art even compare to the great works of the past, such as the Mona Lisa?
I don't think so.



Yet the one area where we have excelled, where we have produced better than ever before; it is in the profession of arms - what most people call warfare.
The past 100 years have proven to have been more violent and more deadly than any century prior to it. In the course, more humans have died due to ruthless, evil men, their followers and those who removed them, than any other period in history.
And the warfare and means of death has become more proficient than at any other time as well. 

Humanity developed poison to kill vermin; and we used it on one another in the trenches of Belgium and France.
Mankind dissected the flight of animals and placed it in a machine on the Outer Banks of North Carolina; but in our century we figured out not only how to fly these machines in space but also how they could carry weaponry to destroy humanity from thousands of feet above in the sky.
We mastered biological diseases and packed them into a canister; yet, the flu and pneumonia still kill the elderly.
And while I am thankful that I can put a scope on my rifle and shoot with precision up to 435 meters; I'm not sure it was worth all we had to kill and destroy to get it.

American Cemetery, Luxembourg 

The purpose of all things is to bring glory to God and for some, as they reduce life into operating procedures of biology or chemistry - it doesn't tell the whole story of God's value on the world.
To see how all things work together for those who love God and serve Him, one must look a little deeper than just what's on the surface, as described above.

It is true with every technological advancement in warfare, more died because humans have gotten better and killing one another. But greater things have come out of it as well.
From the advancement of flight has come the birth of the computer age - without which you would be reading these words in a  newspaper if you read them at all.

From scientists working with viruses, humanity has nearly eradicated polio, mumps, the measles and countless other diseases which use to threaten the lives of millions upon millions every year.
In truth, what has happen is that God has given us wonderful minds and the ability to deduce in logic, but our fallenness has turned the blessings of life into the curse of the world.
With each new discovery, it seems we fall as Adam fell in the Garden, all over again.

Yet, as we wallow in the world of our own creating - we still have a gracious God.
I would encourage not to refrain from new knowledge, but to seek it and accept it - but rather than tearing it down to reduce the world to a level where it can be controlled, I would advise that we would seek to see how it all fits together in God's plan for us.

In South America, in a region of Argentina,  there is a place called 'Tierra del Fuego,' which means, "Land of Fire."
Magellan's explorers first encountered it and it is named so because they could see the natives on the shoreline tending fires.
As the Galleons passed them and navigated the waters, the natives - who had never seen anything like these ships - paid absolutely no attention to them at all.
Eventually, the Europeans and the Natives made contact and were able to communicate; when asked why they didn't even respond to the ships the natives said that they thought they were all seeing what we would call apparitions.

The story may seem odd but the truth is that the Natives of Argentina were seeing something so different than anything they had known, they simply couldn't comprehend the ships as real.
Even as other humans passed before their eyes, they could not decode it in their minds. Personally, to me, that is simply amazing.

But I don't believe it is any more amazing than the refusal of some to believe in God or in their failure to see God's grace in our lives.
In our modern world, like with the Natives of Argentina, science and technology constantly casts more light on live and the universe; as we receive more light, the light obscures the mysterious invisible world that resides beyond the limits of our minds.
Unfortunately, like stars on a summer day, the light is hiding the magnificent wonders of God.

While I cannot tell you if you personally are a Reductionist or a person who can see how everything connects and moves together in this world; or even a person who can reduce most things and see the connection - there is one thing I do know.
We may be limited in our knowledge on how things work, but I know without a shadow of doubt, all things do indeed work together for the good of those who love God.

And if you haven't tried it - you should; because there is a greater, wondrous and mysterious world which can only be know through the revelation of the love of God.

Until next time, win one for the good guys.

Remarkable Restraint

Have you ever wondered why it is that Christians choose to serve God and love Him?
Some would say it is because the Christian has an unrealistic belief in the place we call Hell - out of fear, we choose to serve Him instead of to burn unrelentingly in eternity.

Well, the thought of eternal, unquenchable death is shuddering; take the estimation of one Father Pinamonti in his work, Hell Opened for Christians:

 "Everyone that is damned will be like a lighted furnace, which has its own flames in itself; all the filthy blood will boil in the veins, the brains in the skull, the heart in the breast, the bowels within the unfortunate body, surrounded with an abyss of fire out of which it cannot escape."


OUCH. 
I'm certain that Atheists have had fun with that quote for a couple of centuries.

The good father has given us a very descriptive account of Hell and the place is to be feared; it is rightly described as the Second Death by the Apostle John.
Yet, it is not fear of eternal death which gives me a desire to love God.
I love God and serve Him in my life for many reasons but one that has come to the surface in recent times is because of His Remarkable Restraint.

Of all the things God is and all which He does in my life and in the world today, I am thankful the God I serve abounds in grace and mercy - which is not only demonstrated by my salvation, but also His restraint toward the world.
While we struggle on earth why things happen to good people, failing to realize God sees what we do not, moves when we do not and loves when we cannot - God simply holds back from showing all of who He is and what He can do because He knows what He has in His future plans.

Take for example the great Lawgiver himself, Moses.
Moses stood before a Burning Bush - and while in Moses' eyes it was fantastic; the Burning Bush was very limiting to God.

Any time God comes to our level, He limits Himself - but He does it willingly and for a purpose.
As God limits Himself, He is also restraining Himself - for example, Jesus could have called legions of angels to aid Him; but He did not and chose to suffer our greatest limitation of all - death.

In the faith, we are involved in a relationship, but this relationship we enjoy with the Lord is one of unequal partnership.
God knows all of us; yet, I doubt on this earth that we will ever know all of God.

God holds back out of mercy.
If God was loud and obvious all the time, He would be more like a bully or a tyrant than a loving Father. As God is now, He is an encouragement not a threat.

In the above quote, Eternal Death is described as a threat to those who do not believe; while it is a threat, there is also another side of the same truth - Eternal Life.
These are opposite sides of the same coin - yet, both executed by the same Lord.
In an age that is full of noise but empty of God, I personally don't need threats - I need an encouraging Father full of compassion and grace.
My guess is that most other seekers in our era desire the same.

When we were children, we played "Hide & Seek."
When we were hidden, we would call out that we were 'Ready,' and others came looking for us.
From a child's perspective, the fun of the game is not in the hiding, not in the seeking; the fun in 'Hide & Seek' is when you are found.
Who in the world wants to play the game and go undiscovered?
In the same manner, who wants to travel the earth in the journey we call life and remain untouched by God and His grace?
The fun of faith begins when we are found.

Jacob once wrestled with the Lord all night; when dawn came, he was injured and walked with a limp for the rest of his life.
Certainly, the Lord restrained Himself or Jacob wouldn't have lived another second. While Jacob was unaware of the power of his opponent, I picture it something like a sumo wrestler and a child lining up to do battle.
The wrestler could kill the child, but has remarkable restraint because he seeks only to make a point.

When it was over, Jacob had a new name and stated that God had been in the place and he did not know it.
If we are missing God's presence in the world, in joys and sorrows - could it be that we are looking in all the wrong places?

God's restraint is an act of grace and mercy; but His restraint is not God hiding from us.
In fact, I would argue that there has never been a greater time to discover God than in the age in which we live.
As I look around at the people, places and things He has directed in my life - I can see the Lord everywhere; softly speaking, gently guiding.
And this is accomplished through the Holy Spirit.

In Scripture, there is a passage which speaks of a boy who is possessed by demons. He suffers from this condition for a long time; the demon even throws this boy into the fire at times in an effort to injure him.
The Holy Spirit acts in the opposite manner.
In yet another act of restraint, God's Spirit enters our souls and gently asks that we not hurt Him; for, we can grieve and even quench the Holy Spirit.

From each person of God, we see His compassion, His love, His desire - we see someone who deeply cares and One who is very gentle.
You see, Christianity is not a religion of do's and do not's; it never has been.
Our faith is a faith based on a relationship; and while it may be unequal - it is full of His grace, mercy and love.

KSA
Easter Friday 2009

And we need this because we are the ones who are living in a fallen world, seeking to serve and glorify Him.

Until next time, win one for the good guys.

Fighting Dragons

Nietzsche - 'Be careful, lest in fighting the dragon, you become the dragon.'

For years I have heard about how religion shouldn't be involved in politics and how the framers weren't really Christian.
I have heard, on the other side, the 'Christian' duty to be totally involved and even incorporate the Bible into public policy.
Yet, being sick on and off over the past year has allowed me to have a different perspective. 

My perspective began after being deployed to the desert. 
When I returned, I found many of my fellow Southern Baptist pastors and state leaders talking about things that seemed ridiculous to me. 
I mean, seriously, does it really matter where or even if we have a pastor's retreat after being accustomed to going through three levels of security gates to get outside and once you're outside the wire you hope there isn't an IED somewhere on the road?

The same is true for national politics in my mind.
Yesterday morning, I saw in the news that the Senate Intelligence Committee had released their report on the failings of the State Department and the Administration on the disaster and lies surrounding the attack on Benghazi. 
While that was one report, as I worked out I caught a glimpse of what was important to most Americans - the nominations for the Oscars.
It isn't right.

But I digress. 
The real issue for many Christians is about what role we are to play in the political system. 
As I have encountered sickness over the past several months, the thought comes to me that people get way too bent out of shape over small things and let the big things just pass them by.
I have also found is that every time the church gets in bed with the state, the church always loses. 

When it comes to politics and religion, there is always a trade of grace for power; that is a trade too many are willing to make.
Back in the day of the Founders, the Danbury Baptists had written President Jefferson about government intrusion into the Church. Jefferson replied that the Constitution had erected a 'wall of separation' between the two and the intrusion would be impossible.
Many take Jefferson's phrase out of context and it isn't in any law; the separation of Church and State is not the separation of God and government.

You see, the Baptists and Quakers had experienced persecution at the hands of the State religions in Europe; they didn't want that again.

In our time, Christian will gripe about church disunity, about godless leaders, about the lack of Christian influence in society - and all these things are true but they overlook one stunning fact:
In the Middle Ages, the complaint was the extreme opposite.
Who in the world would look back on that age with nostalgia and hope?

It was a time of Crusaders where priests were also warriors, a time 

of moral police like in some modern Middle East nations.
All we have to do is look to modern Afghanistan to see what it would be like.
Do we really want to go back to that time?
I don't think so.

It was a time when the church set all the rules for society.
John Calvin is a spiritual hero of mine, but in Calvin's Geneva there were laws which covered the amount of dishes which could be used per meal and the length of a woman's hair. Adultery was punishable by death.
What I have found is that farmers who concentrate only on the pulling of weeds will usually destroy the crop as well.

You see, our place in society is as a witness to God's holiness; not as a police agent to enforce His holiness or His standard on people.
The Apostle Paul would rail against the immorality of the church members; but he was amazingly very quiet about the immorality of Rome.

For example, abortion and homosexuality are hot topics for Evangelical Christians today - but the New Testament doesn't really have much to say about it.
In fact, in Paul's time, as Rome practiced these two things, they were practiced in much worse forms.
Roman women did not go to a hospital and have a surgical procedure performed; they generally bore their children and then abandoned them next to the road for wild animals to eat.
As for  homosexuality, the Greeks and Romans commonly used young boys as sex slaves.

In our time, both of these acts are absolutely criminal.
No civilized people or country allows its citizens to deliver babies only to be murdered; likewise, no civilized people approves of pedophilia.
And yet, Jesus Christ nor the Apostle Paul said anything about either of these practices.

As I've gotten older and reflected on life, given my health - I have come to the conclusion that politics on this earth mean very little in comparison to eternity. 
Our lives are not so much about our activity in our pagan kingdoms nearly as much as it is about our involvement in His Kingdom - the Kingdom of God.

You see, Europe's empty cathedral demonstrate to churches today that those who live by power, these will also die by that same power.
And it will be regardless if that power is civil authority or denominational politics; power is always a bargaining chip to steal grace.

As Christians, within our churches and within our society, we must stand for truth without a withdrawal from culture and without killing grace by becoming the dragon.
We must love without judgment; show compassion, kindness and longsuffering because of our faith which ultimately is to glorify Christ Himself.

In my opinion, instead of arguing over whether or not the Ten Commandments ought to be posted on public walls - we as Christians would do much more good if we sought to live the Beatitudes. 

Until next time, win one for the good guys.

Crisis Brings Rescue

The world is good → God says so.

Ultimately, I believe Him, though there are times when the opposite appears to be true.
But I can see the goodness of the original design in Creation; I can see the beauty of a lake trout or the cascading mountains, or even a sunrise. 
Below is a photo taken by a friend of mine and it rightly shows why my home state is called 'Almost Heaven.'
It echos God's handwork on the earth.

God is the greatest artist and what He paints in creation, He also designs in our lives; yet, our lives do not always reflect the goodness which is at the core of the universe.

When I hear sounds, they are an echo of the natural beauty and worship that once existed throughout Creation. 
Music as we know it, is a man-made creation patterned off the natural worship of creation. For example, at this very moment, I am listening to Franz Joseph Haydn and his symphony demonstrates the beauty of what music can be.
Later, I may, though not likely, plug in an album from Ozzy Osborne, thereby giving my ears an experience they will soon not forget.
Our variation of music can either be worshipful like it was intended or it can sound horrid and reckless; similar to the the state of our souls when separated from God.

Human evil and deviant free will may mar what we have been given as good; but all is good because it was created as such and still is good at its core.
Simply but, most things we know are good things perverted. 
Yet I am thankful for those things which God has blessed me with that have not been tarnished to an extreme degree by our fallen world.

For example, I have a friend in another part of the world whom I met a few years ago when activated to service in Germany.

My friend is a wonderful woman; she's compassionate, knowledgeable, loves her husband, loves the Lord, is kind and generally an all-around great person.
In the photo to the right (for which she will probably kill me), it is a moment in time before I was sick, though I was trending that direction. 
We had planned a MarriageCare event on base for interested spouses. It was taken one evening at that event.
It was in that time that we really grew to appreciate one another and the gifts the other person had as a Christian servant of the Lord.

Though separated by a half a world, my friend is still just that, a friend; a person whom I grown to love and respect because of who she is and what the Lord is doing in and through her life.

In short, our relationship was not and is not marred by what many relationships have been ruined by - our fallen nature. And if I had to describe our relationship I would say it is one of mutual respect; not because of what we are in and of ourselves but what God has developed us into becoming.
As it is true also of my wife, I would be certain that it is true of her husband as well.

But while this relationship reflects much of what God intended our friendships to be, there are other relationships in my life that do not.
And it is in these relationships where I can see where much in the world does not seem good; but I know I must look beyond the obvious negatives and search for the original good in that person.
As this is true in our relationships, it is also true with the rest of the world.

In my particular situation, I lost an enormous amount of weight, had dark circles under my eyes and ached in various places throughout my body.
These were all warning signs of Adrenal Cancer.
As of now, I've swung the extreme other direction, gained a massive amount of weight - almost to the point where I waddle up to the pulpit and ache in new places.
Surprise - it's a warning sign that I have a huge tumor in my spleen.

These warning signs are good, they are protective and reflect back to the original good because of our built-in defense system.
In your life, the obvious negatives may be a callus, a blister, a fever, cough, or some type of pain; all of these demonstrate the human body's protective response.
Without these warning signs, which are crucial to our healing, we would live at great peril and risk.

In a similar manner, emotional pain has an underlying good; that good is fear.
Our inner fear keeps us from being too reckless or even from being too lonely because we will seek out safety and one another respectively.

You see, all the best things in life come from our yearnings; not from our satisfactions.
I desired to help people deal with dying, as I was told to be dying - thus this blog was born. I wasn't satisfied with 'having lived a good life;' I wanted more and I fought.
But I didn't fight for myself.
I knew the worst thing that could happen to me was heaven; as a blessed friend of mine reminded me during that time.
I fought for my children and wife; I wasn't satisfied in things ending that way. I was blessed; God moved and God healed.
I have learned that we tend to suffer most as we love most; we recoil from death because we want to keep living.

If indeed a Holy God created a good world, as I believe that He did, something as went horribly wrong. Generally what humans have touched have gone sour.
Sadly, we live in a world where modern technology repeats daily the fall of Adam and Eve.

Mankind has mastered the atom; and we nearly obliterated ourselves.
We have unlocked the genetic code; and we unlocked a box of ethical problems unheard of a generation ago.
We have expanded agriculturally throughout America from the east to the Great Plains; thereby creating dust bowls from depleted natural resources.
We have harnassed the miracle of combustion; and then killed one another with fast moving weapons of mass destruction.
Mankind has even found a way to link the world through the internet; only to find the most popular item downloaded and sites visited are pornographic.

It seem that every new frontier, every new advance - it simply introduces us to a new fall.

But the great hope of humanity is that we can be redeemed; rescue being one of the most common and greatest themes of the Bible.
In Germany, a friend of mine took this picture outside of what is called 'Constantine's Basilica.' 
It once stood as a throne room for the Emperor in the Western most Roman City of Trier, Germany.

The Basilica was bombed by the Allies in WWII and nearly destroyed.
On the inside, there are busts of the heads of the Four Evangelists and of Jesus. They were nearly destroyed as well.
Yet, nearly 70 years later, an evangelical church meets in this former palace. 
In a real sense, the place has been redeemed and resurrected to new life.

That is the end to which all believers are moving - a resurrected, new life because we have been redeemed.

While we may not know in this life what it is to live without pain, or the threat of cancer, or the threat of war, or even the common challenges of every day life - there is a time coming after redemption that everything will change.
It is true that we keep our scars in this life, but they are only to remind us of what tragedy might have taken place so that we will not repeat our mistakes.

All of history is moving toward a resolution.
All good we experience here is only a glimmer of the original design of the Lord.
And knowing what things can be and are at the core, what a wonderful day it will be when we are resurrected to a new life and forever to be with the Lord.

Until next time, go win one for the good guys.

Faith Under Fire

"Tempting God means trying to get more assurance than God has given."

- Bishop Leslie Newbigin 

In October 2012, I was diagnosed with Adrenal Cancer and only given a few months to live. In fact, at my very first appointment at the world renown Cleveland Clinic, I was told that I was terminal and they could only extend my life, not save it.

In January and later confirmed in February 2013, I was deemed cancer-free with hope of a full recovery in mind. The firestorm that had happened over the last several months was quenched by the miraculous touch of God.
That time was indeed a miraculous time; it's not everyday that you are the focus of God's healing; but I was and anyone who knew me was part of as well, even if it was in a small way.

Unlike some, I never doubted that God could do something and could heal me; I just didn't know if He would. God can heal every disease and restore every ounce of brokenness, but generally He doesn't. 
I determined if I was going to die, I was going to discover why God had taken me down this particular road and to what end and by what manner I could bring Him glory through it.

In that time, I learned a lot about God, about faith and about myself - I pray that those who read this blog have learned things about God, spirituality and themselves as well.
And it seems that we're going to learn more together.

This week it was discovered that there is a fast growing tumor located in my spleen. The truth of it is that I had been having pains in that area but didn't really pay much attention to it.
Now, I have found out that the tumor is nearly as large as the spleen itself; whether this is a malignant tumor or benign, it remains to be seen.
The truth is that I'm not all that concerned about the tumor; I don't have any control over it at all - but I do realize my faith is under fire once again and I must ask the question, 'To what end does this glorify God?'

In all honesty, I have never known a day when I did not believe in God.
That's an amazing statement, but true; I may have had doubts but never was it very serious.
It would have been easy to become skeptical about the church or religion or faith as others have in my generation; seriously, look at what we've seen in the realm of religion during our lives.
We have witnessed faked testimonies for the gaining of money, seen hypocrisy of church leaders who say one thing to the crowd but do another in private.
There have been miraculous 'healings' that claimed to be from a man/woman of God - but the person 'healed' died a week later or found out that they weren't sick at all.

Given these things, many in my generation have a strong aversion to church and faith because they have seen it abused so much
My generation has lived through an era religiously, educationally and politically where if someone repeats something long enough - other people start believing it's true, whether it is or not.

During my time in writing this blog, I have often wondered if my struggles and questions of the faith were affecting others in a way that glorified God and led them into a deeper relationship with Him.
It's a question that you can never really know because people don't leave comments very often; few say anything to me personally - so, you don't actually know.
Yet, in my heart - I believe that I am doing some good because 'God's Word does not return void' and I have attempted to proclaim God's truth and His Word in terms and experiences everyone can relate to.

I can honestly say, it is very hard to explain what it is like when you are told a second time that you might have cancer because you've got a tumor inside of your body.
I guess you could say I'm shaken, but not broken, once again.

In our lives, stability is born of crisis.
If you don't believe it, just think of the people in their 80's or 90's who look back on the Great Depression with great nostalgia. With some, you would think we ought to pray for those times again.
What happens is that we on earth may very well be having a massive crisis; but there is never a crisis in heaven - and it is the Lord of Heaven who intervenes and brings stability to our lives out of that crisis through FAITH.

Faith boils down to trust, our trust of God; and this is true in all of our relationships.
If I did not trust my spouse I could not faith in the fact that she would stay with me another twenty years.
The same is true in our relationship with God; the more you learn to trust Him the more faith you will discover you have.

The giants of the faith all chose to trust God when they hit the proverbial fork in the path of life.
Yet, those who didn't trust Him are remember to us by 'what could have been.' These are people like Saul, Samson and Solomon to some degree.
They had promising futures, but when it came to faith, they relied on themselves rather than trusting God.
In my situation now, just like before, anyone who would trust in themselves instead of God to bring it to a chosen and right end - that person would be an idiot.
Only God can help and solve the problem in these types of situations.

For true believers, faith revolves around a crisis in our personal relationship with God more than any type of intellectual doubt we may have.
If you have any faith in God at all, intellectually you've already known of Him and about Him and have made the decision of trusting Him - but how much is yet to be determined.
The grand question to us all is whether or not God deserves our trust, regardless how things appear at the time?

When my faith is under fire - I have determined He does; in Him I will trust.

To believers in Pakistan this evening, I am certain my small 'trial' seems obscene to them and even insignificant
In comparison, I understand - but it could place a seed of doubt within us.
And the last thing we should ever do when confronted with the trial of faith is doubt; for, it can only lead to disaster.

Looking to Job, the patriarch eventually began to gripe about the fairness of his situation. He was angry at God and wanted answers - who could blame him?
He never questioned God's goodness but still, Job was mad because he didn't understand why he should endure what he endured.
God's response to Job was basically a statement saying that we have no business or competence in trying to figure out what God is doing in the midst of trial and tragedy.
And when it all comes down to it - God does ask Job if he can do better; he can't.

When I am confronted with something I find unfair or unruly or something I think isn't right but out of my control, I have developed a habit of remembering the last 5 chapters of Job.
I may, in the heat of the moment, want to repeat Job's accusations against God; however, I also know that I cannot do better than God in the ordering of the universe or in bringing His Sovereign plan to reality on the earth.

Faith gives us the option in life of continuing to trust God while we accept our limits. 
It also means that we can't know fully the answer to all the 'why' questions we have whether it is about a tumor in the spleen or Alabama not making it to the BCS National Championship.

In life, we wonder at times, what role God plays in a boxer accidentally killing his opponent; in a teenage couple losing control in the backseat of a Ford; or in Susan Smith drowning her children in a lake not far from her home.
We may wonder about these things, but the answer is relatively simple.
These aforementioned issues, including my tumor, well - that's the outworking of a life which has been given Free Will on a Fallen Planet.

When Jesus was on the earth, He grieved over much of the same things we grieve over in our lives. What hurts us, hurts Him.
This is a sign that God cares and feels the pain we have far more than we realize.
And because He does - we can trust that all trials and tragedies will be brought to the right end because He is Lord of All.

Until next time, win one for the good guys.
.

The Dance

Early in ministry, I learned from a wise Air Force chaplain of the Lt. Colonel type, that every person in a romantic relationship, married or not, together do what he called, 'the dance.'
Every couple's dance is different but it defines how they relate to one another.

The dance isn't like the 'dance' of honeybees or of mating rituals in the wild among animals; oh no. These 'dances' among humans define every aspect of life as we seek to live out life and relate to one another without killing anyone.

In the human dance of relationships, some have angry dances - haven't you ever met a couple that constantly seems at one another's throat? You and I may not want to live that way but for some reason that couple is wired in a way that makes it desirable. If not, they wouldn't continue to do it.
Other people have whimsical, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants dances; few things are planned but it all seems to work out.
Some have dances that nobody else can understand with their friends and significant others, including spouses.

But there is one dance which we all engage in; yet, we engage in it differently - just as differently as our relating to one another.
That one dance, is the Big Dance - not NCAA basketball - but the dance we engage in when we attempt to relate in our way to God Himself.

In all relationships, there is this imaginary pendulum swing; it goes back and forth from presence to absence and then back again.
We see this in the great saints of the Scriptures; many of them knew times of close intimacy with God, like when Abraham was shown the stars of the sky and promised a land by God Himself. 
Yet, they also suffered great periods where God was seemingly absent; like when Abraham had relations with a slave, giving birth to Ishmael. 

This was not limited to the ancients, for even Jesus Himself experienced God's immediate presence, which was nearly every waking moment of life. 
But Jesus also experienced total abandonment on the Cross, as His Father refused to intervene.
We too may experience these times  in our relationship with God; presence and absence, times of great abundance and times of great trial.
But either way, God has much to teach us and from His presence or absence, mountain top or valley; the Holy Spirit can teach us and mature us into the servants we are to become in God's infinite plan.

A development into a mature Christian should the goal of every Christian; like a parent, a mature Christian does not live for himself, he or she lives for the sake of others.
And in our development, just because we may endure a trial, experience a time where God seems to be absent - instead of revolting in our spirits, we must seek to see Him revealed through others, through things He provides in the world and through the very trial itself.

For example, where would we be in regards to encouragement if Job had not endured? 
God was in that trial. 
God was present in Job's pain, though to Job He seemed to be absent.
And He is present in our pain and trials - we just haven't learned the steps to the dance yet.

Sometimes we endure trials and pain because of boundaries we need to learn; spiritual and otherwise.
In life, a child only wants to know what he can get away with; but the adult knows that those boundaries are set for the child's protection.
As we grow out of childhood and into the stages of being an adult, we learn that most boundaries in life are for our protection - don't speed around the curve on a mountain, if so, you'll be in a river; don't drink, it will destroy your body; don't have multiple sexual partners; etc.
These are all in place so that we will be protected until we learn what the moral implication which God wants us to obey voluntarily.
Spiritually, as we mature, we learn why we are protected by these boundaries.

Do you realize that in nearly every human relationship, we must earn our way for a position?
This is not true within a family; in a family, a person with Down's Syndrome and a person who grows up to become a Rhodes Scholar merit the same love and affection.
The only thing that really matters in our families - our birth.

Though we often misstep, sometimes crashing to the floor and at other times stepping on one another's toes and certainly going off the dance floor at times - in the end, as we continue to mature - all that matters in our relationship with God is our New Birth through His Son.

Jesus is called our 'Advocate' in the Bible; He advocates for us through the Cross and before the throne. 
The Latin root of the word 'advocate' means 'to give a voice.'
In Jesus, God has given us a clear voice before Him; through Jesus, we too have the voice of God among us. The advocacy goes both ways.
And what we learn from the Lord is that He wants us to teach us this dance; He wants us to mature in faith, He wants us to serve; He wants us to learn to love as He loves - Sacrificially and wants us to learn to serve God how He serves God - Supremely.

Many Christians want to serve and want to do things for God - but there is a problem.
The reason we can't do what we seek to do for God is because we forget what God's main work is; His main work is within us.
Our need to give or to serve is as great as anyone's need to receive - but before we can give of ourselves and serve the Lord in life, we must first allow Him to work within us, within our hearts, within our churches, within our spirits and His work will fully flow throughout our lives.

As we mature as Christians, we learn to love God and love ourselves and love one another more and more as our love becomes perfected by Christ.
We learn that love relinquishes control over other; it will let go and then bear the consequences.
Love does not seek to control anyone or anything; it seeks for the other person to desire to voluntarily give themselves over to the one who loves them, reciprocating that same love.
And that is what God wants from our hearts as well.

Many Christians want change the world, influence the world, conquer the world for the Lord.
Well, the truth is that Christians best influence others, best serve God in the world by displaying His sacrificial love for those who have not earned it nor deserve it - just like He did for you and me.
It truly is the only way to change the world.

During the turbulent days of the mid to late 20th Century, a woman glorified by many to be leading a revolution rose to social power. Gloria Steinem, in 'Revolution from Within' said this:

"The bottom line is that self-authority is the single most radical idea there is..."

As with many other things - Steinem is very, very wrong!

Accepting a higher authority, a person denying themselves, an individual serving for the sake of others; these things in a life lived out for the Lord are far more radical.

In maturing faith with the Lord, or to use the analogy - at the end of the dance, we learn that the downward surrender of ourselves, it will lead upward to Almighty God.

Until next time, win one for the good guys.
Unless, of course, you haven't learned to dance yet - then you need to become one of the good guys.