Every couple's dance is different but it defines how they relate to one another.
The dance isn't like the 'dance' of honeybees or of mating rituals in the wild among animals; oh no. These 'dances' among humans define every aspect of life as we seek to live out life and relate to one another without killing anyone.
In the human dance of relationships, some have angry dances - haven't you ever met a couple that constantly seems at one another's throat? You and I may not want to live that way but for some reason that couple is wired in a way that makes it desirable. If not, they wouldn't continue to do it.
Other people have whimsical, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants dances; few things are planned but it all seems to work out.
Some have dances that nobody else can understand with their friends and significant others, including spouses.
But there is one dance which we all engage in; yet, we engage in it differently - just as differently as our relating to one another.
That one dance, is the Big Dance - not NCAA basketball - but the dance we engage in when we attempt to relate in our way to God Himself.
In all relationships, there is this imaginary pendulum swing; it goes back and forth from presence to absence and then back again.
We see this in the great saints of the Scriptures; many of them knew times of close intimacy with God, like when Abraham was shown the stars of the sky and promised a land by God Himself.
Yet, they also suffered great periods where God was seemingly absent; like when Abraham had relations with a slave, giving birth to Ishmael.
This was not limited to the ancients, for even Jesus Himself experienced God's immediate presence, which was nearly every waking moment of life.
But Jesus also experienced total abandonment on the Cross, as His Father refused to intervene.
We too may experience these times in our relationship with God; presence and absence, times of great abundance and times of great trial.
But either way, God has much to teach us and from His presence or absence, mountain top or valley; the Holy Spirit can teach us and mature us into the servants we are to become in God's infinite plan.
A development into a mature Christian should the goal of every Christian; like a parent, a mature Christian does not live for himself, he or she lives for the sake of others.
And in our development, just because we may endure a trial, experience a time where God seems to be absent - instead of revolting in our spirits, we must seek to see Him revealed through others, through things He provides in the world and through the very trial itself.
For example, where would we be in regards to encouragement if Job had not endured?
God was in that trial.
God was present in Job's pain, though to Job He seemed to be absent.
And He is present in our pain and trials - we just haven't learned the steps to the dance yet.
Sometimes we endure trials and pain because of boundaries we need to learn; spiritual and otherwise.
In life, a child only wants to know what he can get away with; but the adult knows that those boundaries are set for the child's protection.
As we grow out of childhood and into the stages of being an adult, we learn that most boundaries in life are for our protection - don't speed around the curve on a mountain, if so, you'll be in a river; don't drink, it will destroy your body; don't have multiple sexual partners; etc.
These are all in place so that we will be protected until we learn what the moral implication which God wants us to obey voluntarily.
Spiritually, as we mature, we learn why we are protected by these boundaries.
Do you realize that in nearly every human relationship, we must earn our way for a position?
This is not true within a family; in a family, a person with Down's Syndrome and a person who grows up to become a Rhodes Scholar merit the same love and affection.
The only thing that really matters in our families - our birth.
Though we often misstep, sometimes crashing to the floor and at other times stepping on one another's toes and certainly going off the dance floor at times - in the end, as we continue to mature - all that matters in our relationship with God is our New Birth through His Son.
Jesus is called our 'Advocate' in the Bible; He advocates for us through the Cross and before the throne.
The Latin root of the word 'advocate' means 'to give a voice.'
In Jesus, God has given us a clear voice before Him; through Jesus, we too have the voice of God among us. The advocacy goes both ways.
And what we learn from the Lord is that He wants us to teach us this dance; He wants us to mature in faith, He wants us to serve; He wants us to learn to love as He loves - Sacrificially and wants us to learn to serve God how He serves God - Supremely.
Many Christians want to serve and want to do things for God - but there is a problem.
The reason we can't do what we seek to do for God is because we forget what God's main work is; His main work is within us.
Our need to give or to serve is as great as anyone's need to receive - but before we can give of ourselves and serve the Lord in life, we must first allow Him to work within us, within our hearts, within our churches, within our spirits and His work will fully flow throughout our lives.
As we mature as Christians, we learn to love God and love ourselves and love one another more and more as our love becomes perfected by Christ.
We learn that love relinquishes control over other; it will let go and then bear the consequences.
Love does not seek to control anyone or anything; it seeks for the other person to desire to voluntarily give themselves over to the one who loves them, reciprocating that same love.
And that is what God wants from our hearts as well.
Many Christians want change the world, influence the world, conquer the world for the Lord.
Well, the truth is that Christians best influence others, best serve God in the world by displaying His sacrificial love for those who have not earned it nor deserve it - just like He did for you and me.
It truly is the only way to change the world.
During the turbulent days of the mid to late 20th Century, a woman glorified by many to be leading a revolution rose to social power. Gloria Steinem, in 'Revolution from Within' said this:
"The bottom line is that self-authority is the single most radical idea there is..."
Accepting a higher authority, a person denying themselves, an individual serving for the sake of others; these things in a life lived out for the Lord are far more radical.
In maturing faith with the Lord, or to use the analogy - at the end of the dance, we learn that the downward surrender of ourselves, it will lead upward to Almighty God.
Until next time, win one for the good guys.
Unless, of course, you haven't learned to dance yet - then you need to become one of the good guys.
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