Shaken Not Broken

Devestation.
Absolute total devestation.
That's the only way I know to describe it when a doctor reviewing test results tells you in a monotone voice that you have a malignant tumor. It's even worse when you are told there are four locations in your torso where this cancer can be found.
I don't know what it has been like for others, I can only speak of what I felt and knew in that moment.
- I knew that I might not live another year.
- I knew that if I did live, the pain and duration of treatment would be earth shattering.
- I knew my wife and children would need support that I would not be able to give them.
- And I knew, regardless of how things ended, it would all be OK - in life or in death.

My cancer is a tumor on my adrenal gland on the right kidney; a tumor on my left lung and in two lymph nodes. A man of 38 years old doesn't normally have to deal with such things; but this is the hand I have before me and I know I have to play it out. To fold and give up - that's just not my style.

Many may have a hard time rationalizing this situation with the goodness or love of God; I do not. I was trained in one of the finest, theologically prominent seminaries in the world - Southern Seminary, Louisville, KY. But that's not the reason why; nor is it because of the experiences I've had as a minister or the joy I've had as a husband and father to a loving wife and children.
It is actually all of these things combined and what every situation has taught me throughout my life.
My faith is a very simple faith - some try to make God or a relationship with Jesus Christ too complex. It is not complex but very simple. Knowing this, our faith is to be simple, plain and easy to follow.
When you trust on this simple level, though the theology behind it is very complex, you learn the truth that whatever does happen, God is control, He's on His throne and all things truly do work to the good for those who love Him.

Sitting there in that small office, hearing those words were tragic and devestating; it was something I wasn't prepared to hear. But those words were spoken, a biopsy has been performed, and a waiting game has ensued. While cancer is unnatural to the human body; these are the natural course of anyone who has been diagnosed.

Some have wondered how this happened or why I contracted this disease. The truth is that this can be said of many things that happen in the lives of human beings. The truth is if a person doesn't have unconfessed sin running rampant in their life, bad things happen to good, Godly people because of the Original Sin in the Fall of Man.
When man fell in Eden, all of Creation fell with him. As a result, we get older, we get sick and each of us will one day die. And if you haven't noticed, the Bible never answers the question as to why bad things happen to good people - but it does tell us each step of the way, God's grace is more than sufficeint to sustain us during those trials in our lives.
That being true, I can't wait to see what God is going to do with this one because it's going to be a rough road to walk in the next several months.

My pysche has been shaken, but my faith is not broken.
In the coming weeks and months, this site will serve as my outlet for thoughts, updates to friends (even those I have yet to meet), and short devotionals about this situation. As prayers throughout the world ascend for the Lord's victory through me in this situation, I want the reader's faith to be strengthened that it may never be broken regardless of how many times it might be shaken by circumstances beyond our control.

Many years ago, William Carey (founder of modern missions) stood before a group of Particular Baptists and challenged them to reach the lost in what was deemed 'heathen' nations by saying, 'Attempt great things for God; Expect great things from God.'
Today, as I write - I am expecting a great work by the hand of God in my life.

Untill next time, try to go win one for the good guys by bringing them the Light and Hope of Salvation in the Lord Jesus Christ.