Jack Benny, a comedian from a generation ago, use to say that he was 39 years old; every year. He was 39 and holding; many have the same attitude about aging today - they hold at 39. As for me, holding at 39 and not growing a year older has different implications - at this point in my life, I want to be 39 and counting.
Yesterday, 25 October 2012, was my birthday; as good as my wife and family, friends and church family tried to make it happy and celebratory; but it was a sad day knowing this could be the last birthday celebrated at all.
Having cancer changes your mindset slightly on life in general and in your interactions; you're the same person you ever were, but you find yourself not wasting many moments. For example, on my birthday:
- I went to the office to field calls and messages for a few hours.
It wasn't because I felt I had to but because I knew other people wanted to know what was happening.
- I went to a church family's farm, sat on a log and shot a squirrell.
I knew I couldn't walk around and actually hunt in the woods like I could even a year ago, but I knew I could just sit. For me personally, God has always revealed Himself through nature. What better way to spend a day when you're sick than to be in a place where you can enjoy the Lord the most?
- I marked a birthday card 'return to sender,' then I dropped it in the mail.
This may have been the strongest thing that I did yesterday. The card came from a person who has personally hurt me and offended me many times; most recently after knowing I had cancer and saying extremely offensive and hurtful things to me over the phone.
The simple truth is that over the years I have grown weary over being hurt one minute and the next being expected to forget about an incident the next. The repetition has been endless. Therefore, I figured since I may only have a few months or years left, I wasn't going to spend it doing this "dance" anymore.
Now, I'm not mad nor bitter nor angry - I'm just tired of extending olive branches and trying to keep the peace. And it is this that I want to write on today.
Christians abuse forgiveness and grace all the time and it isn't right; not with God and not with one another. Being a Christian gives a person great liberty, but that liberty comes with a greater responsibility. This was the core of the Apostle Paul's instruction to the Roman Church in chapter 14 of that epistle.
The responsibility in our liberty is to NOT do anything that might offend our brother/sister in Christ.
There are some things that I am free to do as a Christian, but will not do because I do not want another believer to stumble. For example, some people cut their grass on Sunday; they feel that there is nothing wrong with it. I do not, nor have I ever cut grass on a Sunday because it will probably offend another brother in Christ and hurt their faith to see me doing it.
Well, I don't want them to stumble over something I am free and clear to do; so, I don't do it.
It is the responsibility of liberty, and it extends to our speech and actions with one another.
As a Christian, you and I are not free to say whatever we want whenever we choose. As a free-born American it is our right to do so, but as a Christian it is our responsibility to speak wisely lest we hurt another believer.
Granted, each Christian does this at times out of sheer ignorance or mistake; it happens. But what should never happen is a common practice of saying whatever you please and then later asking for forgiveness or trying to explain away the hurtfulness of the person you have injured.
You see, whether you are 39 or 139; sick or healthy - this is a universal Christian truth. It encompasses the Golden Rule and the Great Commandment of the Lord.
Liberty in speech and action without responsibility is tyranny to those whom we hurt. And tyranny in the life of a Child of God can never last long; for the afflicted will either try to show the error of ways in Christian love OR they will simply walk away. Both are Biblical - God does not expect His children to be treated this way.
In the coming days, I am certain to be sent to Cleveland for treatment. It is certain that the road I must walk will be very difficult in the next several months. What I need now is the same thing every person needs in every facet of life - solid truth found only in the Word of God and His people.
This week I endured a very painful biopsy and it is the easiest thing I will endure in coming months. But emotionally, the most painful thing a Christian can endure is to be treated with contempt by well-meaning but horribly misguided people who are trying to 'help.'
Keep these in mind as you speak because when our version of 'help' is not guided by the Holy Spirit of God, it often becomes a great hinderance.
As the days unfold, I do not intend on dying; I have a goal of age 45. That's five years plus one. I know that if a person can be cancer free for 5 years, they're usually good to go. I want to make it at least 6. And I certainly plan to do so.
One of the secondary goals I have is to live to an old age - which means I'm 39 and counting.
Until next time, go win one for the good guys.
You are so right. God does not expect his children to suffer abuse, no matter what the circumstances are of the abuser, no matter if the abuser does it knowingly or not. God does expect us to take care of our minds (as well as our bodies) that he gave us. Sometimes that means walking away and washing your hands of people that are making it difficult for us to take care of ourselves properly, mentally and physically.
ReplyDelete