Real Hope & Change

When a person has a disease such as cancer, you cannot help but think at times if this is the end of the line. You wonder when you enter a hospital if you will walk out again. When you do something, go somewhere, or celebrate a special day - somewhere in the back of your mind you wonder if that is going to be the last time you do those things.
You wonder, not because you have a lack of faith, but because it is simple human nature. Every person wonders and imagines the future but when you have a life threatening disease, internally you know that there is a chance that the future will be cut short if it even comes at all.

I do not know how non-believers get through these type of struggles, but I know how I'm getting through my struggle. God has promised us His strength in our weakness; it is a promise I have seen fulfilled time and time again - and I'm seeing it fulfilled even as I type in my life.

One of the problems Christians have is that we want to believe God's promises, we think we trust Him; but in actuality, we really don't - as evidenced by the fact of so many Christians living defeated lives and hectic lifestyles. If we were really trusting Him, then we would know to rest and be content in Him.

I do not know your story nor how God has shown you His promises in your life; but I do know my story and it is a story of a change that brings true hope.

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me
To bring good news to the afflicted;
He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted,
To proclaim liberty to captives
And freedom to prisoners;
To proclaim the favorable year of the Lord...
Isaiah 61:1

These were the first words Jesus spoke in His first sermon in Nazereth. After He closed the scroll He said to the people, 'Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing (Luke 4:18).
And do you know what those good, religious people did in that synagogue that day? When Jesus finished speaking they drove Him out in an attempt to throw Him off a cliff.

As a pastor, with many other pastors I can rightly say that there have been times when I felt as if I was going to be driven off a cliff - but it hasn't happened yet. As a matter of fact, I don't know anyone in local church ministry that has had that happen to them - it is because God has protected us.

Sometimes in my study before church services, I read this passage as a reminder. While the passage is speaking of Jesus and no man can ever fill His role, it is also true that every Gospel minister has the Spirit of God on them to reach those who are hurting, captive by their own choices and sin, to tell them of the Gospel message that brings change to the wounded and doubting heart.
This was not who I was years ago, but it is who I am now.

No person is who they once were but the real question is, 'What are you?' Are you just an older, more mature version of who you were years ago OR have you had the change in your heart only Jesus can bring so that you now have a blessed hope in Him?
Who I was is not what I am now because of the change that has happened within me. Yet, in this process, God has crafted me as He has chosen to do what He has wanted every place in the world He has sent me.

It began many years ago in Louisville, Kentucky with the police department.

As others stayed in the seminary 'bubble,' God saw fit to show me the real world. There were a lot of hard lessons to learn, what I didn't realize that God was crafting me to become something more, something He wanted, in places others didn't want to go and in regions nobody asks to visit.
I was changing, but that change was to bring the hope of the Lord Jesus more effectively to others.

Later, local church ministry and Chaplaincy in the Air Guard came; as it came, I went where I was sent.
There is a book that tells the story of God's movement in the desert while I was there, "Kingdom Collision." For that story, go to that book. It suffices to say, the fruit of ministry through the Air Force has taken me to Saudi Arabia, Germany and most interesting, Montgomery, Alabama.



Baptized in Saudi. Eleven for the Good guys.

 In each of these, God had crafted me and prepared me for the task; I just didn't know it at the time. He had changed me with His promise and hope to bring the same message of hope and redemption to those who did not know Him as I know Him.

When some have Cancer and are given horrid odds of surviving more than 5 years, there isn't much hope about their spirit. I now find myself on that same road, but I don't have the same attitude.
The reason is because I have seen throughout my life the change by the Holy Spirit of God from what I was to what I am. That continual change brings hope to a troubled heart - whether it is mine or yours, regardless of how hopeless a situation may seem; there is always hope through the Lord Jesus Christ.

In a day or so, I will be admitted to the world renown Cleveland Clinic. Tests, biopsies, surgeries, chemotherapy and an aray of other necessary, yet painful, medical things will take place. I am not apprehensive, fearful, angry, or anything that might be construed as negative, albeit understandable. Actually, I am a peace and very hopeful.

The reason is because I know what I was and I know what I am. And if God can do so much with so little in the limited amount of time He has worked within me; it truly will be amazing to see what He is planning to do with so much in this situation.
He will prove once again, Jesus is the only Change and Hope a man or woman can believe in for their lives. For it is His change in your heart and life that will bring peace and hope.

Until next time, win one for the good guys.

Ocean Waves & Railroad Tracks

Many years ago, I stood on a sand dune overlooking the ocean underneath a full moon with a friend, watching the tide of the Atlantic roll to shore. In the silence of the moment, I quietly said that every person's life was like those waves - we don't always know from where they originate, we only know where they finish when they come to us; but in the process each individual wave touches so many others, just as our lives touch many others and some we don't even know we have touched.

Another analogy that is often used for a person's life is that it is similar to waves; a good one comes in and in a little while, a bad wave comes in and we deal with both as they come.
But this is simply not true.

Life is less like waves crashing a seashore and more like railroad tracks - good and difficult things run side-by-side in our lives constantly, which effect us in various ways continually.
For example, the obvious over-arching issue in my life is cancer; but good, joyous things continue to happen in other areas of my life. This weekend, my son killed his first deer - it was a goal of mine to see this take place and due to a special doe season to help reduce the deer population in this state, I was able to be there and help him do it.

Photo taken by F. Howerton; private farm, Medina, WV - Jackson County

During this time, I fully realized that this may be my last hunting trip or I could have many more in future years. Both are possible and both are on either side of those continual railroad tracks that run through each of our lives.

Also this weekend, on Sunday, I may have preached the last sermon I'll preach for a while due to upcoming medical treatments. It was also 'Pastor Appreciation Day.' The church was packed and it was truly a wonderful day - and the railroad tracks continue because today I'm headed back to the doctor's office.

The railroad tracks of life are simply this - God's wonderful, abundant grace on one; on the other - man's fallen world. Both effect us daily. And with both, each person must decide daily, hourly and sometimes by the minute which of these their thoughts and attention will focus upon.
The truth is that you can find in life whatever you wish to find; if you want to be unhappy or grumpy, there are certainly plenty of reasons you can find. But if you choose to be happy, joyful and rest in His grace and peace - you will be able to do that as well because the joys of life, even in the darkest times, are abundantly present.

Thank God that life is not like the waves of the ocean - we, as humans, would be in a constant roller coaster of emotional carnage. Strangely, some choose to live as if life is an uncertain sea during a storm ignoring the Rock of stability and strength; the One who calms the storms of life or calms His child in the storm that he may endure and be found faithful.

While questioning Jesus privately, Jesus spoke to Pilate concerning 'the truth.' As Pilate walked away to declare Him innocent before the crowds, he asked Jesus, 'What is truth?' Yet, Pilate did not wait to receive the answer. I want to share a truth that is found in the Book of Truth:

Romans 9:16

'...It does not depend on the man who wills or the man who runs, but on God who has mercy.'

As things happen in your life, both good and bad as your personal railroad tracks in your life continue to go forward; remember that it is God who has mercy and if you trust Him, He will guide you to Himself. Sometimes God allows us to go through horrible situations, like cancer, taking away the flash of the world from our lives, only to allow us to see clearly with the eyes of faith and to give us more of Himself.

The railroad which owns the tracks of our lives is the T&O Express - Trust and Obey. If you trust Jesus in your life and seek to obey His commands in and through your life, I can promise you on the authority of God's Word - regardless of what you go through, you will find His grace and mercy abundant and more than enough to guide you home.

Until next time, try to win one for the good guys.

39 and Counting

Jack Benny, a comedian from a generation ago, use to say that he was 39 years old; every year. He was 39 and holding; many have the same attitude about aging today - they hold at 39. As for me, holding at 39 and not growing a year older has different implications - at this point in my life, I want to be 39 and counting.

Yesterday, 25 October 2012, was my birthday; as good as my wife and family, friends and church family tried to make it happy and celebratory; but it was a sad day knowing this could be the last birthday celebrated at all.

Having cancer changes your mindset slightly on life in general and in your interactions; you're the same person you ever were, but you find yourself not wasting many moments. For example, on my birthday:
- I went to the office to field calls and messages for a few hours.
It wasn't because I felt I had to but because I knew other people wanted to know what was happening.

- I went to a church family's farm, sat on a log and shot a squirrell.
I knew I couldn't walk around and actually hunt in the woods like I could even a year ago, but I knew I could just sit. For me personally, God has always revealed Himself through nature. What better way to spend a day when you're sick than to be in a place where you can enjoy the Lord the most?

- I marked a birthday card 'return to sender,' then I dropped it in the mail.
This may have been the strongest thing that I did yesterday. The card came from a person who has personally hurt me and offended me many times; most recently after knowing I had cancer and saying extremely offensive and hurtful things to me over the phone.
The simple truth is that over the years I have grown weary over being hurt one minute and the next being expected to forget about an incident the next. The repetition has been endless. Therefore, I figured since I may only have a few months or years left, I wasn't going to spend it doing this "dance" anymore.
Now, I'm not mad nor bitter nor angry - I'm just tired of extending olive branches and trying to keep the peace. And it is this that I want to write on today.

Christians abuse forgiveness and grace all the time and it isn't right; not with God and not with one another. Being a Christian gives a person great liberty, but that liberty comes with a greater responsibility. This was the core of the Apostle Paul's instruction to the Roman Church in chapter 14 of that epistle.
The responsibility in our liberty is to NOT do anything that might offend our brother/sister in Christ.

There are some things that I am free to do as a Christian, but will not do because I do not want another believer to stumble. For example, some people cut their grass on Sunday; they feel that there is nothing wrong with it. I do not, nor have I ever cut grass on a Sunday because it will probably offend another brother in Christ and hurt their faith to see me doing it.
Well, I don't want them to stumble over something I am free and clear to do; so, I don't do it.
It is the responsibility of liberty, and it extends to our speech and actions with one another.

As a Christian, you and I are not free to say whatever we want whenever we choose. As a free-born American it is our right to do so, but as a Christian it is our responsibility to speak wisely lest we hurt another believer.
Granted, each Christian does this at times out of sheer ignorance or mistake; it happens. But what should never happen is a common practice of saying whatever you please and then later asking for forgiveness or trying to explain away the hurtfulness of the person you have injured.

You see, whether you are 39 or 139; sick or healthy - this is a universal Christian truth. It encompasses the Golden Rule and the Great Commandment of the Lord.
Liberty in speech and action without responsibility is tyranny to those whom we hurt. And tyranny in the life of a Child of God can never last long; for the afflicted will either try to show the error of ways in Christian love OR they will simply walk away. Both are Biblical - God does not expect His children to be treated this way.

In the coming days, I am certain to be sent to Cleveland for treatment. It is certain that the road I must walk will be very difficult in the next several months. What I need now is the same thing every person needs in every facet of life - solid truth found only in the Word of God and His people.

This week I endured a very painful biopsy and it is the easiest thing I will endure in coming months. But emotionally, the most painful thing a Christian can endure is to be treated with contempt by well-meaning but horribly misguided people who are trying to 'help.'
Keep these in mind as you speak because when our version of 'help' is not guided by the Holy Spirit of God, it often becomes a great hinderance.

As the days unfold, I do not intend on dying; I have a goal of age 45. That's five years plus one. I know that if a person can be cancer free for 5 years, they're usually good to go. I want to make it at least 6. And I certainly plan to do so.
One of the secondary goals I have is to live to an old age - which means I'm 39 and counting.

Until next time, go win one for the good guys.

Shaken Not Broken

Devestation.
Absolute total devestation.
That's the only way I know to describe it when a doctor reviewing test results tells you in a monotone voice that you have a malignant tumor. It's even worse when you are told there are four locations in your torso where this cancer can be found.
I don't know what it has been like for others, I can only speak of what I felt and knew in that moment.
- I knew that I might not live another year.
- I knew that if I did live, the pain and duration of treatment would be earth shattering.
- I knew my wife and children would need support that I would not be able to give them.
- And I knew, regardless of how things ended, it would all be OK - in life or in death.

My cancer is a tumor on my adrenal gland on the right kidney; a tumor on my left lung and in two lymph nodes. A man of 38 years old doesn't normally have to deal with such things; but this is the hand I have before me and I know I have to play it out. To fold and give up - that's just not my style.

Many may have a hard time rationalizing this situation with the goodness or love of God; I do not. I was trained in one of the finest, theologically prominent seminaries in the world - Southern Seminary, Louisville, KY. But that's not the reason why; nor is it because of the experiences I've had as a minister or the joy I've had as a husband and father to a loving wife and children.
It is actually all of these things combined and what every situation has taught me throughout my life.
My faith is a very simple faith - some try to make God or a relationship with Jesus Christ too complex. It is not complex but very simple. Knowing this, our faith is to be simple, plain and easy to follow.
When you trust on this simple level, though the theology behind it is very complex, you learn the truth that whatever does happen, God is control, He's on His throne and all things truly do work to the good for those who love Him.

Sitting there in that small office, hearing those words were tragic and devestating; it was something I wasn't prepared to hear. But those words were spoken, a biopsy has been performed, and a waiting game has ensued. While cancer is unnatural to the human body; these are the natural course of anyone who has been diagnosed.

Some have wondered how this happened or why I contracted this disease. The truth is that this can be said of many things that happen in the lives of human beings. The truth is if a person doesn't have unconfessed sin running rampant in their life, bad things happen to good, Godly people because of the Original Sin in the Fall of Man.
When man fell in Eden, all of Creation fell with him. As a result, we get older, we get sick and each of us will one day die. And if you haven't noticed, the Bible never answers the question as to why bad things happen to good people - but it does tell us each step of the way, God's grace is more than sufficeint to sustain us during those trials in our lives.
That being true, I can't wait to see what God is going to do with this one because it's going to be a rough road to walk in the next several months.

My pysche has been shaken, but my faith is not broken.
In the coming weeks and months, this site will serve as my outlet for thoughts, updates to friends (even those I have yet to meet), and short devotionals about this situation. As prayers throughout the world ascend for the Lord's victory through me in this situation, I want the reader's faith to be strengthened that it may never be broken regardless of how many times it might be shaken by circumstances beyond our control.

Many years ago, William Carey (founder of modern missions) stood before a group of Particular Baptists and challenged them to reach the lost in what was deemed 'heathen' nations by saying, 'Attempt great things for God; Expect great things from God.'
Today, as I write - I am expecting a great work by the hand of God in my life.

Untill next time, try to go win one for the good guys by bringing them the Light and Hope of Salvation in the Lord Jesus Christ.