Five Years Free

This week marked a full three years since a horrible cancer was removed from my body.
At the time, I was expected to live only a few more months; I looked into the mirror this morning and realized that I might not be the most handsome man in the world, but I look pretty good for a person who is supposed to be a corpse.

There were literally thousands of prayer-warriors lifting voices to the heavens; there were also thousands of others who quietly, mildly and simply asked God for intervention.
At the time, although as it was taking place I said little, I could literally feel something in my body

changing.
With no question in my mind, I know now that God was doing something inside of me; maybe reconstructing. Maybe reversing nature. Maybe something beyond what I can envision.
But I do know that something was taking place that couldn't be described or explained.

And I do know that I walked out of the hospital, ALIVE.

That was five years ago; five...it is the number every cancer patient longs for because when you reach the five year mark, you are declared a survivor and cancer free.

In that time, though some details have faded, there are two things that have remained in the forefront of my mind that I hope to never forget.
One is the true friends that I have; now, this is not to say many weren't concerned, but I mean the deep, true friends - some of whom are reading these words right now - are still my friends and remain very close.

For these, I will ever be thankful and would fight alongside them regardless of the battle.

The second truth is this: God was very evident throughout the entire ordeal; not just within me but around me, through others, through instances in time.
It was very, very clear that His hand was a guiding force from the original thought of calamity, to the diagnosis, through the surgeries and well into recovery within the declaration that cancer was no longer a part of my body.
And with God's presence, came God's greatest gift to humanity - the evidence of His grace.

God has always been present and full of grace; indeed, while humanity lives in a time capsule of linear thought and space, we view time in the same regard.
Yet, God is above and beyond our time and space; His presence is ever availing and His knowledge and works are ever-permanent.
As such, while we think of events in a linear motion; God encircles both ends of our thoughts of time.

But always, He has given grace to those who are in the most need, when they need it, at exactly the right moment.
A few examples from history might be helpful.

What most theologians mark as the worst day in the history of the human race, the Fall of Man, God responded by doling out individual punishments for each player's role in the creation's demise.
Yet, these punishments were also full of grace.
The punishment for humanity was that we will all one day die; yet, God didn't strike down the offending parties immediately, nor did He cut off resources.
Instead, He allowed humanity to live, allowed the deceiver to continue his work, as a Cross appeared on the horizon of the ages to follow.

A generation after the sin in the Garden of Eden came the first murder; worse, it was among the first
parents children.
While Abel's blood cried out from the ground, Cain pleaded that his punishment was too great and that someone would find him and kill him for what he had done.
God's response - a mark was placed on Cain; he would live, but he would live in misery because of the crime he had committed.

In both events, there is a true sense in which God as our Father, truly seemed to struggle with humans as He balanced the learning curve to include a punishment, justice, authority and grace.

A few generations later, mankind had deteriorated so much that Scripture records, "The Lord was grieved (some translations say 'sorry') that He had made man on the Earth, and His heart was filled with pain."

I imagine every parent in history has felt that same type of shock, grief and pain from some action or statement from their children.
We struggle to remember, like God with the first humans, we too must learn to balance justice, punishment and grace.

I can also tell you this shock, grief and pain happens with those who are pastors of churches.
Many times ministers are absolutely dumbfounded at the spiritual immaturity, reckless behavior, and statements made by those who have claimed the Cross as their salvation.
Sometimes, people are as shocking as Cain expecting grace from God.

Yet, as time passed, one found favor in the sight of the Lord; Noah.
After the flood, humanity was given a new start with the Noahic Covenant.
This Covenant is absolutely astonishing in the fact that God is the sole promising agent in the agreement; in fact, God for the first time, places a limit on Himself.
God's Limit?
He promised never to annihilate mankind in this manner again; He in fact, gave a protection to humanity so that humans would not live in constant fear before an all-powerful God.

Now, in each of the above cases, as with my struggle with cancer, God was actively involved.
During that time, my faith did not fail nor falter.
Yet, like those in the time of Noah or Abraham or even John the Baptist; I have found it is not in those times where our faith fails - it is in those times and periods when we hear nothing from God but absolute silence.

If God is not speaking to us, if we feel not His presence, if we have no encouraging word; then, what does God want from us?
When in a struggle and He seems so far away, what does He desire?
The answer: Belief.

And belief in those times when God seems to have withdrawn are painstakingly hard.

Yet, God wants us to believe Him and trust Him when we are in times where there is no real reason to trust or believe.
In this, very well could be the great challenge of modern man; we have been given more reasons to disbelieve than to believe.
- We have witnessed internal church fights and splits among major denominations; these have left behind disgruntled Christians and wounded the faithful.
- We have seen for years, lying political leaders who have thrown oppressive taxes and regulations on the middle class of America, while tossing society into economic chaos and uncertainty.
- We have seen, in recent years, the military evolve from a war fighting/peace continuing necessity to a group used as a nation-wide social experiment, rather than the warrior class they are.

In fact, most won't ask it, so I will: Why should we believe?
We have many reasons not to...but so did the Patriarchs, the Disciples, or the Church Fathers.

With belief, maybe that is the point; we are to believe when the world, others and our environment tell us otherwise.
In Scripture, this is called 'faith.'

A little over five years ago I was told, 'We can prolong your life, but we can't save it.'
Then I was taken to the man who was supposed to become the administer of chemotherapy or radiation (I can't really remember, but that's not important).
There was no direction, no real hope given, and I truly didn't know what was going to happen; but I did know that God was just, that He is good and whatever did happen, I was going to be OK.
As one good friend put it at the time, 'The worst thing that can happen to you is heaven.'

He was right.

I have found that in those times when there seems to be no direction and God seems to be silent; there is still grace and hope.
You see, few remember in their struggles on earth that there was a 400 year gap between the death of Joseph and the Exodus out of Egypt by the Hebrew people.
During that time, God seemed to be silent; but He was not.
God was quietly and Sovereignly working to raise up a man named Moses; it would be through him

that God would speak and lead the faithful.
But God did expect one thing from His people while they could not see what He was doing nor heard His voice: belief.

In the times that there is no direction or guidance (we think), that is the time for trust and belief.
It is far more important in dark times than when we are happy and blessed.
Think about it, when have you grown more spiritually?
Was it when everything was marigolds and maple syrup?
Or was it when times were dark and despair was on the doorstep?
More likely than not, it was in a time of trial or tragedy.

In those times, it is paramount to remember that you think you are receiving nothing but silence from God; but just be patient and wait - God is not silent forever.
Faith is a lot like film, it has to be developed in the dark; therefore, never doubt in the dark what you have learned in the light.

True, we favor joy and victory; but it is in the silence when we grow.

The Jews had a promise, but for 400 years they toiled in slavery though they believed it.
To some, it may have sounded like a fairy tale; a theological insult.
But God wasn't silent forever.

The truth is that the thought of God being silent, or unfair, or hidden from them must have troubled each of them; as it did Abraham, the Prophets, John the Baptist in prison and just as it does each of us today.
We want a power display of reality; a Burning Bush, a Red Sea parting...a man healed of cancer.

While these things do still happen, the power displays of God can do everything but one; it cannot make us trust nor love another person or God.
Love and trust cannot be forced; it is a decision.

So, in actuality, all that we see wrong with the world, sickness in our life, etc...these things are actually a seed bed for true faith and trust.
And it is this faith and trust by which mountains are moved, people are delivered, men are healed of cancer and God's wonderful grace is demonstrated for the world to see.

If a little suffering on our part is all that it takes, we should endure it faithfully.
Just think of what He endured for you and I.

Until next time, win one for the good guys.