In the past two years, God has allowed me to struggle with cancer, a defunct spleen, lose half a lung, a hurtful church experience and still be gracious enough to let me survive.
Yet, when I speak of having cancer and surviving, I have noticed various reactions that seem common.
On the other hand, my Baptist/Evangelical friends embrace the suffering and will state something like, 'You did suffer...and here's why..!'
It is as if they have the solution to the question before it is fully developed; at the same time being skeptical of a supernatural healing.
The truth is that we live in a highly scientific age where knowledge is being communicated at a rate which has never occurred before in human history.
As such, the science of medicine sometimes replaces the science of good theology in explaining the unexplainable.
Still, there are true miracles and they are rare; if not, miracles would be called 'ordinaries.'
I have known since I was a very small child that miracles were real and that they still take place in our modern world; yet, being real, I have wondered why there are so few of them.
On the floor of the hospital where I received the information that I would live and was cancer-free, I remember children being there - and they weren't expected to live.
Why are some people healed (like I have been) and not others?
This is a questions that I cannot answer, but I do know that miracles and other acts of God should not be theologically dissected.
Instead, miracles should be thought of as 'snap shots;' things that take place in the world which tell us a little more about God.
In looking to Jesus' first miracle, it took place in a town archaeologists cannot agree on with regards to location, is odd, and Jesus never even came close to repeating anything like it again.
The miracle of turning Water into Wine took place in a town called Cana during a wedding.
Weddings in the Ancient Near East brought a shot of joy for a brief time into a drab life of the first century Jew.
At this particular wedding, the wine began to run out and while we are taught in Sunday School that this is of utmost importance, the truth is that it wasn't really a high emergency.
The host or groom may have been slightly embarrassed over this social faux pas but that about it.
In this wedding Mary, His mother, seems to have been the host and she is the one who got Jesus involved; He turned water into wine.
If you think of a miracle as something that God performs locally showing what He is doing universally, this miracle and all others take on an entirely different meaning.
With me personally, I know that my human body conducts healing every day; but when I was healed of cancer, the healing and regeneration of cells took place at a much more rapid pace, to the point where it was eradicated in weeks.
Now, this wasn't as flashy or stunning as Jesus touching my body and commanding me to 'arise and walk,' but His power is just as effective.
Another thing I have noticed over the past two years is that fewer Christians today ask why God allowed certain things to happen; instead, this generation shows its pride by having the tendency to blame God.
In Scripture, the Gospels tell an account where the Pharisees and religious leader point out to Jesus a man who had been blind from birth.They ask, as we might, 'who sinned? This man or his parents?'
In our language, they were asking if birth defects were caused by this man sinning in utero or if his parents sinned so horribly that it was imputed to the child in utero.
The Pharisees taught that either of these could be possible.
At this, Jesus overturned the common thoughts of the day concerning God and our suffering/sickness.
He simply said, 'Neither. It is so that the glory of God can be revealed...'
Then, of course, Jesus healed him.
But when Jesus said those words, you could have probably heard the grass grow.
He had an entirely different outlook concerning sickness and suffering.
Jesus looked forward to what God can do; He looked not at 'why' but 'to what end' is this man suffering.
The answer was that nobody sinned; rather, God's power might be displayed within him.
And this account - it isn't about sin, nor about the Pharisees stubbornness to look with the faithful eye; rather, it is about everyone's blindness, not the man's.
In my mind, I have no idea why I was sick as young or as bad as I was.
At first, I believed God wanted me to learn something in particular; to an extent I still believe that today.
But on the other hand, I also believe that my sickness wasn't about me at all.
Was my sickness about my inability to see or about the spiritual sickness of others?
I'll only know in eternity; I am willing to wait.
With miracles, I have found that faith may indeed produce miracles, but miracles do not necessarily produce faith.
This is true in Scripture and it is true in our time as well.
Jesus once healed ten lepers, only one returned to thank him - today, I wonder if the one would return.
When I was sick, every person in my church could see it and they knew it when I was healed.
But after a few weeks, I could read faces from the pulpit - the majority just wasn't that impressed.
Instead of producing more faith, the miracle within me seemed to produce antagonism towards me and my family with some.
And I don't know how to explain this - but I have seen it repeated in the lives of others.
Studying Jesus' miracles in the Gospels are quite interesting.
Do you realize that Jesus healed any disease He wanted, but encountered sinners that He simply could not convince or convert?
In fact, the strongest words of grace, the greatest reaching for the lost Jesus ever did, were aimed at those who remained unrepentant.
In looking over today's modern 'miracle ministry;' I see little correlation to what Jesus did on earth; nor do I see His power.
The things that plagued the religious establishment in the first century still plague religious people today; hypocrisy, legalism, pride and the like.
Each of these are true spiritual problems that slice the jugular of the Body of Christ; yet, there are no know television ministry which deals with these things; only the material needs of life.
And this reveals to us a horrid truth about ourselves, we may be tormented at physical suffering; seldom are we tormented by our own sin.
After the feeding of the 5,000, John records later that many people who had been following Him left. It wasn't that they didn't believe the miracle; they believed it, but couldn't accept the teaching which followed in the days afterward.
This alone proves that miracles rarely encourage repentance and long term faith.
Maybe that's what happened at my former church; maybe that's what happens daily in each of our lives as we accept the natural explanations for supernatural occurrences.
It is here where we know the power of the Lord; yet we struggle to believe, while at the same time we want to believe amid the chaos and confusion of the world.
And in this chaotic state before the Lord's return, remember we are destined to face trials, the doctrine of suffering is still valid; for, if they won't listen to Moses and the Prophets, the world isn't going to be convinced when someone rises from the dead.
Do you know what happened when the religious elite saw that Lazarus had been resuscitated to life by Jesus?
They tried to kill him again.
Do you know what happened to John the Baptist when he was sentenced to death?
He was later executed.
You see, Jesus did not solve the problem of pain and suffering in this world; this is not why Jesus came into the world.
But Jesus did counteract the fallen world and its pain.
As He walked this earth, every healing pointed back to Eden and forward to the Kingdom He will one day establish.
I have learned during this journey that Jesus Christ doesn't like what happened to me concerning cancer; but in His miracles I can see what He intends to do about it in the future.
And this brings me great hope.
For, Jesus' miracles are not supernatural at all; rather, they are natural occurrences in a fallen, unnatural world.
He is what is right and will set the wrongs of the universe aright when He returns.
Until next time, win one for the good guys.
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