Grieving a Fellow Struggler

"Mommy, I'm okay, but all my friends are dead."

                                                                                     ~ Six-year old girl, Newtown Survivor

The amazing thing about the above quote is the fact that police had arrived at the elementary school within 10 minutes of the first shot.
When it was over, this little girl's words were the first thing spoken to her mother. It seemed that in her mind, assuring her mother that she was alive was the most important thing in the world.
The fact all her friends had tragically died was secondary.
What this shows us is that in times of grief and tragedy, we often look to others in a quest to comfort them rather than draw inward because of our own pain.

This weekend I was informed that a friend of mine had passed away.
Granted, we didn't talk much over the years but did belong to at least two clubs that are fairly exclusive. We had both graduated from the same high school which is now closed and secondly, we were both diagnosed with cancer.

We had become reacquainted in recent years as we battled the disease in our own ways; God chose to heal me but my friend continue to battle the disease.
I cannot explain why and I wouldn't even begin to attempt an answer.

I can, however, begin to speak of what happens in such a time; especially when there are so many similarities. 

Tragedies which occur in society effect people differently; few take on a national grief such as the September 11th attacks. When the Towers were hit, all other news seemed insignificant.
Horrible events seemed to precede and follow that one day with varying degrees of pain and loss; but when  the murderous rampage took place at Sandy Brook Elementary, an uneasiness began to sink into our hearts.
Small coffins for so many will do that to a normal soul.

After those events, most would think that we are beyond shock, but it isn't so.
Every time we lose someone where we identify with them to a large degree or love that person dearly, the shock of the loss takes on new meaning.
Sadly, we discover once again that we are helpless in the wake of tragedy and pain.

Reflecting back, I remember at Columbine the teenagers were killing their classmates because of years of rejection and internal pain. Our teenagers lost their innocence as police began to regularly patrol schools, which continues to this day.
I remember having a moment of silence on stage with the audience before performing in a theatrical production after the senseless shooting at Virginia Tech.
From Fort Hood, we were told that the treasonous Army Major was secretly a jihadist; as were the 17 men who caused the destruction on September 11th.

But with Newtown  the shooter left no reason nor did he answer any questions.
In fact, the shooter had even murdered his own mother with four bullets while she slept. His mother had clung to a faint hope that her son could be 'fixed' or healed. 
In the end, her hopes were crushed as they ended with her life and the lives at Sandy Hook.

Newtown's tragedy reminds me of the loss of my friend; like the shooter, there is no explanation of his cancer. There seems to be no logical reason for him to pass away so  young...and for me to still be alive.

I hurt tonight, not for myself or for those of us who remain; but rather for his children. And I am left with a lingering question, 'Why do my children get to have more years and Christmases with me, but his do not?'

Making sense of such things on a personal level is very difficult; for it cannot be done outside of one's mind because every person must come to grips with what God is teaching at this moment.

Speaking of the theological truths and the lessons learned at such a time does absolutely nothing to ease the pain or relieve the grief.
Not now anyway; but there is comfort in knowing that God knows how bad we suffer and what we are feeling now because He Himself suffered with the loss of His Son.

The renown scientist Stephen Jay Gould once stated:
"[Humans are] a momentary cosmic accident that would never arise again if the tree of life could be replanted."

According to him and other modern scientists, humans are nothing more than complex organisms who are programmed by our selfish genes and natural desires to act purely out of our own self-interests. 
Well, I don't believe that and that isn't what I experience when a tragedy or pain strikes.
Instead, what I have observed has not been indifference but rather compassion and the out-pouring of generosity toward those affected.

Amid a painful loss, nearly every person in our secularized culture will recognize the value and worth of an individual human being.
This is a consequence and carry-over from the Judeo-Christian belief that all men have been created in the image of God.
And when a tragedy does strike or death steals away a life, people will instinctively turn to ministers and to faith; agnostics and atheists remain remarkable quiet because neither have been able to dry one tear or give a decent answer as to why these things happen.

Tragedy, pain, loss and death will often call our faith into question; but they also validate our faith in remarkable ways.

When we are suffering a personal loss of pain, the age-old question arises:
"Is this world, even a world that God will someday restore, worth the pain it involves?'

Ask the family of my friend who passed away and they will respond with a thunderous, 'YES!'

Perhaps God feels the same way about those who suffer on a fallen planet such as ours.
Only God Himself can answer whether or not this world is worth the suffering; and He has already spoken on the matter in the person of His Son.
You see, it is in His Son where we see God's greatest act of love intertwined with His greatest moment of grief.
Whether it is human beings or God Himself, grief is the place where love and pain converge.

Pain, disease, suffering and death are humanity's universal problems; no person nor society has a monopoly on the resulting tragedy from them. 
They intrude and often give way to a blame game of attempting to find fault with something or someone.

When a national tragedy strikes, liberals will blame the availability of guns. Conservatives will blame the lack of support for the police. Mental health officials will blame lack of resources to screen people so that the tragedy could be prevented; and Fundamentalists will blame the lack of prayer in schools.
Trying to assign blame to a tragedy does not solve the problem nor does it make it go away.

But the truth is that whether it is a national tragedy or a personal loss, the actual root cause can be summed up into one word: Fallenness. 
Few will name it as such, but we are fallen and we live in a fallen world. Things are not like they are supposed to be, they are skewed.
As such, this fallennes has given way and evidences itself as evil and violence, which has become so prevalent, most people are largely unconscious of it at all.

Pain and death cannot be conquered in this life because we are fallen; but it can be redeemed.
These are able to be redeemed only through Christ, God's own son.
For it is Him where pain loses its sting and death fails to have victory.
If you want redemption and peace, you can have it; but you must have it now, in this life and in this age.

My friend is gone; I cannot bring him back, nor would I attempt to do so because I would not want him to suffer any more. 
While I pray for a cure and for his family, I am thankful that I will see him again in eternity. 
And you can as well, by repenting and trusting by faith in Jesus Christ and accepting the free gift of the grace of God He has provided.

Until next time,  win one for the good guys.