Disappointed with God

"Never have people been more the Masters of their environment; yet never has a people felt more deceived and disappointed."

                                                                                    ~ Daniel Boorstin

Nature is a fantastic symphony singing the praises of God through a unique choral arrangement in a melody speaking constantly to the human soul.

This is true whether one chooses to listen or to ignore; nature will sing on.
For, as the Lord said, "...if these keep silent, the stones will cry out!"

Yet, as a Christian, and I imagine many Christians likewise will also attest, there are times when I have been disappointed, dismayed and even upset with God.

We know these feelings aren't what we are supposed to feel toward God; but many times we do, and left unchecked these feelings may lead us to quiet, unexpressed doubt.
Living in a fallen world, for the Christian, doubt is more akin to forgetfulness than it is disbelief.
His hand is seen throughout the universe and His signature is written throughout our lives; if this were not so, we would not believe as we do.

This being true, it still does not erase the fact that sometimes Christians become disappointed with God in our lives.

You see, we know God is Sovereign Lord; Scripture teaches us that it is God who raises Kings and removes Kings. 
What is true for Kings is also true for the sparrows of the sky and each individual life; God is in control, always and infinitely.
Which makes me wonder as to why God has allowed some of the leaders He has on the earth over the last several thousand years.
But I digress.

We know God intervenes in human life; Scripture is adamant that God knows every detail of our lives (secret and hidden will one day be shouted from the rooftops) but it is equally certain that God will intervene in the affairs of humanity including to rescue, revive, resurrect and rouse His people.
Which makes me wonder why His people are seemingly asleep at the wheel right now in America.
Again, I digress.


We know God cares for His children; Scripture points to the lilies of the fields, with Jesus Himself teaching us that Solomon in his glory was not as beautiful as these flowers. 
At the same time, these flowers will die and fade from history; mankind will live forever. 
The message is that God cares for flowers, but has a greater care and love for you and I; therefore, we should never worry about material things of the world or in our lives.

We know God is infinitely compassionate, perfect love and is unfathomable in His mercy.

Each of these being true, why do things turn out in life like they do?

For example, if God is in control of all things at all times including my individual, human life, why then didn't He prevent me from having Cancer?
Granted, I'm just a regular guy, not a super-saint; but still, if God loves me and could have prevented the disease, why didn't He?

At times, life can be disappointing...

Have you ever felt that way?
Maybe not with a sickness, but maybe with a wayward child, a financial situation, or a job or whatever life has brought your way.
Every Christian I know who has tried to live for God's glory has faced times of disappointment.

I am reminded of what a Catholic priest said to me when I battled cancer and it applies to her as well:

"Who better to deal with this sickness than you? Who do you know that can handle it in a Godly way? 

Maybe that's why you have it...to do well with it for God."

Interesting words.
Powerful words.
Let's digest them for a moment with regards to being disappointed with God.

In my sickness with Cancer, this entire idea of a blog began because I wanted to 'finish well' like my friend whom is now in glory. 
He had cancer as well and as we worked together in ministry, that was his goal; in many ways, it was my goal as well.

I was given six months to live and I knew that if I died, I would be but an frame of what I once was; at the time I had lost nearly 40 pounds.
When my children, after my death, looked back at pictures of me, I knew they would see the changes in my physical frame but I did not want them to doubt the spiritual faith I had or believed.

You see, a Christian man in the ministry dying of cancer at 38 years old and in top physical condition otherwise, simply does not make sense.
What did make sense was Christ, even if the world was falling apart and I wanted them to be certain of that fact.

Yet, it is obvious, there would be mixed messages in the whole scenario if I died.

If you look to nature, we receive mixed messages as well; it is because we occupy the same fallen world.

In nature, we now name our storms, hurricanes and snowfalls. 
Yet, those strong winds prune the forest of excess branches.
The fires in the west, open up pods and clear underbrush so that new growth can take place.
And the floods of the mid-West and elsewhere, they carry fertile soil to parched land so that those areas remain America's breadbasket.

The natural forests, rivers and plains do not 'expect' these things to happen; yet, nature is dependent upon these 'disasters.'
In the same manner, the storms and crisis that come to our lives prunes things out of our hearts and souls that do not glorify God; through the process we become restored...or a better word, redeemed.

I have found since having Cancer that for many Christians, there is a huge gap between what they have 'expected' from God in being a Christian and what has actually been experienced in their Christian faith.

But what would we expect?

Today, and for many years prior, Christians have been fed a steady diet of all-you-can-eat heresy recorded in books, sermons, so-called 'Christian television' with testimonies from people who promise only triumph, pleasure and success within the Christian faith.

Gone is the doctrine of suffering for the Gospel witness; gone is waiting with the patience of Job. 
And gone with these truths is the 'whole counsel of God.'

In place of God's wise counsel is now the 'Prosperity Gospel,' which is a false gospel because there is only ONE Gospel and that is the Blood Gospel of Grace through Faith in Jesus Christ.

Therefore, if there is not certain and dramatic evidence of the Lord working in and through a Christian's life, that particular Christian will have emotions of disappointment, sometimes even betrayal and often guilt because they will believe everyone else is experiencing and enjoying the blessings of God and they have yet to have this experience.
And they don't know why God is shutting them out of the prosperity, so it must be their fault.
Something must be wrong with them personally or spiritually.

Often I have found, if a person isn't experiencing the same blessings as another Christian, they will fake it; you know, tell a holy lie through a testimony, or singing or whatever.
But what they will not do is expose the truth in their hearts that what is believed and being taught is NOT what they are experiencing.

Friend, the most important thing if you have engaged in this, is quite simply to stop lying to yourself and confess it. 
You are not the only Christian who has found themselves in this situation when it comes to faith.

Disappointment with anything occurs when the actual reality of something, such as an experience, falls short of what we have anticipated in our minds.

When there is a steady stream of only victory from those trying to keep a show on television, prompt the purchase of a new book or attempt others to cast forth 'seed' money - the expectation will be high because of the promise of the 'return' because of your faith.
Yet, the principle of sowing and reaping is NOT to be compared to a financial investment.

It is un-Biblical and un-Christian to think God operates only within our man-made devices and schemes.

To only study Scripture with 'victory' or 'success' in mind would be similar to studying the history of the world by only researching the wars.
To promise constant 'victory' or 'success' without mentioning the wars that must take place to achieve them for the Lord invites ridicule, heresy and doubt. 

For example, Job was victorious and successful in the end; but the battle in the war to get him to that place was horrendous.
And what is more honorable about Job is not the fact that he was able to endure to the end and received a great blessing; but rather, it is the fact that Job was victorious before the blessing at the end without ever knowing why his great suffering had taken place.

Through it all, Job was faithful not because of what he was going to receive in the end but because he knew the God he served; in fact, Job had no idea that God was going to reward his faith as He did. 
That is why Job said these words amid the trial and suffering: 

"Though He may slay me, I will serve Him..."

There is, in the above statement, a truth of why people become disappointed with God.

Many Christians do not believe there is a service to God in the suffering of life's tragedies; ignoring the plight of the suffering Savior recorded by the prophet Isaiah in favor of the power of the Resurrected Lord, when in fact both elements are necessary to complete the truth of God in Jesus Christ.

We have been given the idea that God is just waiting to bless us financially, heal us physically and have us triumph spiritually, if we only had enough faith.
So, if you're not being 'blessed' with good health or more money, something is wrong with your faith.
Therefore, the more we do to show our faith, the more God will see it and the greater blessing will take place in your life.

My friend, that is what the Canaanites believed, not Israel and certainly not New Testament Christians.

We become disappointed with God, not because of God so much as it is with our own hearts.
Our hearts are out of place spiritually; we're in need of repentance and faith.

A Christian who expects to become wealthy because they have given a certain amount of dollars to a ministry is NOT operating on the Apostle Paul's principal of 'Sowing and Reaping.'

Instead they are operating on Capitalism's 'Investment and Yield Return' principal. 

In its very basic form, it is the idea that the more a person invests into something, the higher the yield of profits the person will get in return.

A Christian who believes that if they had enough faith, or gave enough money, or prayed hard enough...then, they would be healed of whatever ailment is striking their life; one who believes this is NOT mimicking Jesus' teaching, but rather the teaching of the Pharisees.
The truth is that Jesus sometimes healed people who didn't have any faith at all, didn't pray and He even raised the dead when they didn't ask.

When God moves, He moves how He chooses, in His time for His Sovereign purposes.
There is not one thing I can do that will make Him love me more, nor is there anything that will make Him love me less; God is simply God and we would do well in trying to stop bartering with Him for what we want and instead await with open hearts for what He wishes to give so that He may be glorified on the Earth.

Although some reading these words have become immensely aggravated at the Biblical teaching offered, here are a few final words concerning our relationship with God and having expectations.
- It would be nice to be healthy, but most of all, God desires that we are Holy as He is Holy.
- Its great to have wealth on the earth, but it is not necessary and not a requirement to demonstrate our faithfulness. Who did Jesus praise more, the man who gave out of his abundance or the widow who gave what she had from her heart?
- Prosperity isn't for everyone; maybe that is why Jesus never owned a home, walked everywhere He went, and never did anything that is normally associated with 'greatness.'
- Our command is to be like Jesus, not like the world.

As for being disappointed with God, the subject can be widely explored; it has been and will be even more so in the future.
But what I have found is that our disappointment is caused by our own heart issues; God not living up to what we thought or what somebody else has claimed.

Therefore, our disappointment with God, or God's acts or inaction, can mostly be attributed to you and I misunderstanding with misguided thoughts exactly what it is God is doing in the world and through our own lives.

I had Cancer and was given six months to live; as my friend asked, 'Who would be better to go through this than you?'
That question still lingers today...I couldn't think of anybody.

If you read Scripture, not looking for what you want to get out of it, but rather as a story from God with a definite plot and ending - you will soon see why we've been given what we have in God's Word. 

It is not a story about wealth or health and healing. 
It certainly isn't book after book of super-saints which should be followed.
It is not a list of 'do's' and 'don'ts'.
It's not any of the things that people normally associate with Scripture.

Scripture is the story of the fall and reconciliation of mankind to God his Creator.

If you read God's Word with this truth in mind, you will soon realize the hurtfulness of those preaching 'Health and Wealth,' and come to grips with man's true purpose on the earth.

Our purpose: To glorify God and Enjoy Him Forever.


May nature continue to sing its melody and may we join in the chorus, for eternity.
Until next time, win one for the good guys.

Death, Where is Your Victory?

' Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed-- in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.

"O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?" The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.'
                                                                ~ 1 Cor 15:51-52, 55-57

Three years ago when I was first diagnosed with cancer, I knew in my heart that everything was going to be OK, regardless of how it would end.
I didn't want to die, but I knew the destination if the iron jaws of death closed upon me.

The above passage, gave me great strength because I knew what I was experiencing was only temporary but with God, when it was over, eternity awaited with Christ.

Knowing this...for me, Death had no sting nor victory.
This is also true for others who know Christ as I know Him; as our Lord and Savior.

Recently, I was privileged to perform the funeral of a lady whom I had pastored; her daughter and I have become friends over the years.
The last few years were rough on my friend as she cared for her mother; but she displayed the compassion, grace and love that her mother had years earlier to others.
This affected me to some degree because this was a special lady; but I know she'll rise again at the resurrection of our Lord.

I had lost a good lady to the Lord; a good Christian woman who was special to me and my family. I can honestly say I am thankful her mind has been restored and that she is with now with her husband and son; but most importantly, with the Lord.
But this was not to be the end.
Not only was a wonderful lady lost from the Earth, but we also lost a wonderful man. 

Just before the dawn of the New Year, a friend of mine passed away.
He saw beyond my personal faults, looked passed my shortcomings, and remains one of the few, honest, true friends that has ever graced my life.
Cancer claimed his life just as it had threaten to claim mine; though I am thankful he no longer suffers from that horrid disease, I will greatly miss him as will many, many more.

When he was about to retire (North American missionary) I can remember him telling me that he wanted to 'finish well.'
It was a clear reference to the Apostle Paul's writing, where he knew he was about to be executed but also knew that he had 'finished well' for the Lord.

My friend truly finished well.

In a way, I believe every Christian wants to finish well; truthfully, the idea of 'finishing well' was the entire reason behind the beginning of this blog. I wanted to give a faithful witness that would remain long after I died.
But I didn't die and the blog remains a mainstay for my ponderings about the faith.

Yet, every Christian should want to not only finish well, but to do well for the Lord before we leave this world.

My friend was more than 20 years my senior; yet, we shared a special bond.
He grew up in a time much different than mine; a time when the Church began to lose respect throughout the American culture for various reasons.
Today, Americans live in a culture which is not only post-modern but also post-Christian; we look to the past, seeing what has been lost in hopes of one day regaining the respect, honor and strength of witness we once had.
The question many of my generation ask of the elder generation is simply: 'How did it happen?' or more pointedly...'Why did you allow this to happen?'

Historically, Christians have thrived in a sub-culture everywhere in the world.
The so-called 'sub-culture' of Christians of more than a generation ago in America, I have learned, although I didn't want to believe it, were right on target.
Many were legalistic, shrewd, uptight and at times rejected the very grace, love and compassion God teaches us in His Word; but morally, they were dead on.

In that era, 'Good Christians' didn't drink, they didn't use drugs, they NEVER divorced, nor did they have multiple sexual partners.
They believed that they had been entrusted by God with His Holy Truth; as such, they handled it and themselves very carefully in the world.

As the Church and the world entered the 1960's, there was an optimism born from the winning of WWII & the economic boom of the previous decade. Things were bright in America.

But then....
A young, charismatic President was assassinated in Dallas, Texas.
Throughout the South, violence began to erupt as peaceful demonstrations went awry. 
Political leaders wanted to stop Communism in Southeast Asia; to the tune of nearly 60,000 captured, killed or missing young American troops. At the time, everybody knew somebody who had died in Vietnam.
Jane Fonda  betrayed our soldiers, the Beatles took music by storm, Cassius Clay dodged the draft, and Marilyn Monroe died; it seemed as if America's iconic heroes had died as well. 
And while America achieved the grand accomplishment of reaching the moon by the end of the decade, Americans also became use to seeing war, violence, protesters, and assassinations on television as both Martin Luther King, Jr and Senator Robert Kennedy were both killed before the nation's eyes.

And then there was the Church...
What did the church do?

Well, the church sort of blew it; while they had the truth of God, had the right intentions; yet, that generation failed at communicating God's truth to the youth of their time.

As a new, fresh air among America's youth began to be embraced, the old ways were tossed aside as a new morality was accepted; and the church responded by shunning millions.

Draft Cards were burned, as were bras. 
Some fled to Canada; many took to the streets.
The youth who refused to accept any authority began to question every established institution, belief and leader as the Church's teaching was set aside for one's own doctrine and thought.

6 In those days there was no king in Israel; every man did what was right in his own eyes.

Judges 17:6 

Alongside the political, musical, religious and societal changes came one change that few were prepared for → the Sexual Revolution.

With the Sexual Revolution came teen pregnancy, illegitimate births and public welfare because of family break-ups, divorce and single-parent homes.
As a result of this new promiscuity, out-breaks of new diseases occurred, including the most deadly in the 1980's: HIV AIDS.
Truthfully, that revolution did nothing but enslave women; for, it was the men who got to play and walk away when things stopped being fun.

So today, my generation, Generation X, is looking across society and we see a landscape unlike any that has ever existed; at the same time, the interactions of the generation which follows, our children's generation, is unlike anything we've ever seen.
It is as if society has morphed into something foreign and grotesque concerning faith and morality.

Today we are warned of the dangers associated with smoking, with binge drinking and with multiple sexual partners. 

The public schools are more concerned with my children learning how and where to recycle than they are with children knowing how to sign their name in cursive writing.

History textbooks are skewed towards the opinion of the highest bidder; the government's involvement in a single American's life is greater than it has ever been. 
And Christians are beginning to struggle over the issue of legalized drugs and the Church as a whole struggles, trying to figure out how to get more people in their doors rather than getting the message of Jesus outside of their walls.

Yes, my friend's generation of Church was right; the old church was right.

The problem, however, was not the accuracy of their faith or morality; their mistake was in the fact that they did not know how to communicate God's truth to that particular generation.

In that generation, the Boomers, the young looked different, they acted different, they smelled different; and the Church did not know how to respond to them with the message of the Gospel. 
Why did that generation cut loose on every traditional value in American society?
Well, I don't know; but I do know it was a cry for help, for few rebel without an internal reason.

That generation had the answers of God and failed at getting the message to them.

That generation of the Body of Christ missed their chance; Gen X, let's not miss ours.

In the 90's, Generation X was called the 'Forgotten Generation by the Church' because the Body of Christ had evangelistic outreach for the Boomers, who left the church in the 1960's and also for the Millennials who were born after Gen X.

Being forgotten seems to have been  distinguishing characteristic of my generation.
We were the latch-key kids whose mothers (Boomers) decided it was better to go to work than raise and nurture a family.
Well, that is, if the mothers decided to give birth at all; for we are the first generation to live under legalized abortion. If a person is 42 years of age or  younger, they need to thank God they were spared and made it out of the womb alive.

But I digress.

The point is that the Boomers left because the generation who was leading the Church did not know how to communicate the Gospel of hope, 
Generation X was neglected because the Boomers who returned wanted to reach their own; then realized they needed to focus on the younger generation - which were the Millennials.
As such,  Generation X now holds the truth of God in our hands, for we are the leaders of the Body of Christ → we stand at a Crossroads.

Like my friend, we need to finish well.

Somehow along the way, the thought of Christians being killjoys and God being against the sinner prevails.
Friend, that is nothing less than the whisper of the Serpent from Eden.

The truth is, Christians are not the problem.
People don't lock their doors at night, being afraid to go out or walk down a city street because there is a Christian outside handing out a New Testament. 
No, instead people are scared because there is a generation of people who thinks only of themselves, their desires and their own pleasures.

This is not a generational issue; this is a sin issue.

In the 1990's, they said we were 'Grungers'; a new style and new music followed.
Today, they are called 'Hipsters', with the same characteristics. 
And yet, the same desires, thoughts and issues that plagued my generation when we were young are attacking those in their 20's today.

No, the generation does not matter; sin is still as deadly as it has ever been.
Thankfully, since the moment Eve placed her lips on the forbidden fruit, a Cross has risen on the horizon of humanity so that our sin may be eradicated.

Do you know what the problem is?
It's the problem of every generation.

Christians fail to see people as they really are; many times we see them as we want them to be and how they can be beneficial to us or our churches.
That, my friends, is wrong.

We must forget about what we think, and we must look to the transforming power of Jesus Christ so that we can see people as they really are in the flesh.
But also, through Christ's power, see them as they could be in Him.

You see, the past generation, missed their chance and the souls of those who walked away from the Gospel were enormous; although some were reclaimed. 
But if they had opened their eyes, they would have seen that people who were traditional Christians, like my friend, and those advocating a radical change in society weren't really that far apart.

For example:
- They protested for the Equal Rights of an oppressed race; they were right. But where were they rooted? In the Gospel, for Jesus died for all and Paul proclaimed that there was neither Jew nor Greek, etc.
- That generation clamored for equality between men and women; good for them. 
Do you know who raised women to a level equal with men? Jesus of Nazareth.
- The young Boomers screamed against the war in Vietnam; fine. I disagree with their stance but I do know where the basis of a 'Just War' originates and I do know who hates war more than anyone. His name is Jesus.
- Sexual promiscuity were at record heights in that generation; instead of condemning them, the right response would have been to see how Jesus dealt with the woman caught in adultery. He forgave her, for she was repentant and ashamed, and told her to 'go and sin no more.'

There were other issues, but you get the picture.
One might agree or disagree with the ideals and stances of the Boomer generation (I know I have a bone or two to pick with them) but that is irrelevant. 
What is relevant is that their issues concern and are related to the Gospel.

You see, the Gospel advocates for all rights for all people, regardless of gender, age, or race. 
Although millions do not realize this fact, the truth is that in the ancient world there is no precedent for the oppressed except for the Gospel of Jesus Christ.



It is timeless in it's truths because God is timeless Himself.

My friend did His best for the Lord throughout his life, witnessed to many of his fellow Boomers, let many to the Lord, left a lasting legacy and finished well for Jesus Christ.
Although I was not present to see this happen, I am certain, moments after he slipped into eternity, he heard the words every Christian longs to hear at the end of their life: 'Well done, good and faithful servant.'

I pray that I will be able to do the same; but not only me but others whom God allows me to reach for His glory.

Our challenge is simple: To live and teach the true Gospel of Jesus Christ and reclaim the power Jesus gave us, so that we can take it to the world.

Tonight, I leave you with a passage which was one of my friend's favorite verses, in hopes that like my friend, Dick Howie, you and I might win a few for the good guys before we are reunited in eternity.

"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit,  teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always , even to the end of the age."

Matt 28:19-20