Transformation of Pain

When I begin to study deeply into Scripture, or when I am alone for extended periods of time at home, lost in a book or in the woods of God's Creation - my mind always drifts back to pondering pain and suffering.
Which in turn, begin to surface in my writings once again.

Maybe tonight it is because one of my childhood heroes has passed like a few others have this summer.
Maybe it is because of my history with death and suicides.
Maybe I may have a biochemical overdose of melancholy and sadness in my psyche, my dissection of the problem of pain is never far from my thoughts.

Pain is something I know well.
Suffering is something that I have been acquainted with; when the two return, as they do in all individual lives from time to time, it isn't like an enemy coming to do battle. I picture it more as a wrestling match or a struggle.

Personally, I believe that there is no more fundamental experience than pain.

We enter the world in pain, causing pain, some receiving more than their share of pain in the process and all too often, we leave the world the same way.

The pain and suffering of Christians has long been debated; yet, academic exercises concerning the fallenness of the world and the mysteries of God with relationship to His creatures, will never end the suffering.
And even if we had an explanation for the unexplained suffering of the world, it would not satisfy because the suffering has not ended.

Over the years in ministry and in struggling with pain, suffering and the possibility of death when I had cancer, I can honestly say that seeing children suffer is the worst to witness.



Once I met a 4-year old who was born with bone cancer and who had never known a day without pain.
I couldn't explain the situation or even begin to know God's plan in that situation; but I did see that child smile. And laugh. And bring joy to others.
It made me thankful for the leaps in progress humanity has made, with the revelation of God, in discovering new drugs, techniques and methods for cancer - more so for the children who suffer than the adults; including myself.

It also reminds me that not all things can be explained.

A long time ago, a wonderful Christian named John Donne ministered in one of the most horrific times in the history of England; he experienced three plagues hit London. The last of these killed 1/3 of all the people.
Donne himself was believed to have contracted the plague during the last of these tragic times. 

It was at that time, through pen and paper with the gift of God in prose, John Donne penned the following words concerning death during that time.

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

There are many unknowns about our suffering.
Yet, we strive for answers and explanations.
Though we may not have the righteousness of Job in our hearts, we do have the desire of Job, which is to know why things happen to us that are beyond our control; especially when those things and events bring pain and suffering into our lives.

During those times we must be reminded that you and I don't live by explanations; we are to live by faith.
Yet, these words ring hollow to a man or woman who is truly hurting.

Amazingly, the places we have designated as 'healing centers' do not help much either; mostly, they are depressing and have an antiseptic feel about them.
Patients do not always feel like human beings; in time they begin to feel like objects.
And ultimately, hospitals and rehabilitation centers breed despair and depression, not hope.

I do not know what other people feel when they are dying, or suffering, or in tremendous pain. I can only relate what I thought and believed during that time.

I never really feared dying; I didn't like the idea of the pain. I didn't want to suffer. I didn't want to have cancer. But I wasn't scared to die.
I was never terrified of being dead; I did, however, become afraid of how my children would react and what would happen to them concerning their relationship with God once I was gone. And I think that's understandable because I wanted them to serve the Lord; my death could have prevented that for a considerable amount of time because of the lack of understanding and light.

At that time and even today, I knew my pain, suffering and impending death was not from God. I was fairly certain, as I still am, that God hated my cancer about as much or more than I did.
He didn't cause the cancer; but I knew He could cause something good to come out of cancer; and He did - only as He could.

I'm now nearly three years cancer-free.
I know not everybody has the same miracle or the same blessing as I received; though I wish they could.
Yet, there is a reason why some suffer and others do not.

You see, not once to Jesus Christ ever turn to a suffering person and say, 'Well, you're suffering and in pain because you deserve it!'

No....just no. 
Instead, Jesus would offer healing to their body and forgiveness to their soul.

And therein lies a golden nugget of truth.

We spend far too much time wondering 'why' or 'why me' or 'why them' when something tragic happens, or painful or an unexpected, or an unfair death.
Not once did I ask 'why me.'
Maybe it was because early on a Catholic friend of mine prayed for me and asked me to consider this → If I wasn't suffering from Cancer, then who would? Who, of all the people I knew, would be better to glorify God through the enduring of this tragedy?

He was right.
Just as only Jesus could have endured His suffering, so too will His children, His Sons and Daughters, endure trials and we will be well-suited and well-equipped for each of them so that He will be glorified in the end.

That was a powerful question and in a round about way, he had given me the answer to Job's questions of suffering unjustly so long ago.
When Job questioned God, he railed against the Lord. 
God, who is full of love and compassion, answered Job in a confusing way, asking where Job was when He had created the universe, pointing to the beauties of His own Creation.
Job is humbled and quiets down before His Lord.

God's message to Job was simply that His answer as God as to 'why' would be well beyond humanity's concepts and ideas.
Yet, as God, and showing His servant the Creation, God was asking if Job would entrust his life to the same Lord who upheld Creation.

My friend's question/statement was the same, and it was just for me.
It was this → Was I going to trust God, or not? Did I really believe all those things about God that I preached about and taught others to believe?

I did believe it and I did and do trust Him.

And if I died tonight, I could not have just cause to complain because God has been so gracious and merciful to me, that I know I have received more than I could ever repay from His blessed hand.
But that's the beauty of serving God; He doesn't ask us to repay Him, only to love Him.


Despair is suffering without meaning. 
God does not and will not place us in despair.
That tells us that God has meaning in suffering, even when we don't know what that meaning is or we cannot understand it.

We believe God is holy, just and true.
We believe rightly.
And because we do, we think the world ought to be just and true; but it is not.
The world is fallen; as such, tragedies happen, people are wrongly injured, and innocents die.

We can only see the negative in suffering; but there is also joy in suffering.
The joy is found in the fact that pain is only temporary, the world is being replaced and suffering, pain and tears will one day cease to exist.

Pain and suffering, for now, while these things cannot be defeated, they can be redeemed.

You see, personally, I have a holy indifference to death; I respect death but I do not fear death because I know it is a foreign intruder in humanity that will one day cease to exist.
As for now, it appears that death severs completely life away from the living.
In reality, death actually opens a door - a door to how life was supposed to have been and experience from the beginning → New, Full, and Eternal.

Until next time, when one for the good guys.

Dependent on Grace

"Faith gives the whole earth a celestial aspect; each moment is a revelation of God."

                                                         ~ Jean-Pierre de Caussade


About a year ago, I left the church I had been serving for 13 years.
While I am much better off now than I was beforehand, there were times when trust, faith and personal experience in the future was a little shaky.

At the time, I knew that things would work out exactly how they were supposed to be → they always do because God is Sovereign. 
I also knew that where ever I was, I was supposed to be there for God had orchestrated the events of my life.
Yet, at that time, I can remember looking at my wife and saying, 'We're about to find out if we really believe what I preach.'

God in His wisdom, has revealed some of His foreknowledge to us in such situations for our encouragement. The outcome of our trials and temptations are known to Him before it ever begins and we have a glimpse and receive some of His Foreknowledge in the form of grace and the Gospel.

As Christians, like any other human being, we don't know the exact details about our personal future, but we do know the overall outcome to life on earth when lived before God.
Yet, knowing the future outcome of our lives does not make the present any easier when you are enduring a trial, a season of famine or suffering, or a time of temptation where you must fight.
No, having a piece of God's Foreknowledge isn't a magic bullet to make us live faithfully; instead it is a demanding test of faith for the Christian to hold on and remain secure in what we know is true rather than the upheaval of what 'might' happen.

Often during such times, God reveals things about yourself that you may not have otherwise known.
For example, I have learned that one of my major problems is the belief that many American Christians are wimps - lacking in the staying power or tenacity that one needs to grow and mature in the faith.

This line of thought began after I returned home from my first deployment.
I had been in the desert for five months and had worked extensively, behind the scenes and secretly, with the underground Church.

These were men and women who were routinely jailed by the local authorities because of their faith; and their jails make our incarceration resemble a country club setting. 
Some were beaten for fun; others were harassed daily; but all wanted more knowledge and more light of Christ regardless of the personal cost.

When I returned to America, I found Christians griping and complaining about their 'outdated' cell phones; the temperature in a church sanctuary; arguing over when an offering should be taken in the service; and I personally took criticism over the military haircut I sported upon my return to the pulpit. 

What I was seeing was a contrast between people who were enamored by the grace of Christ in His love and those who had seemingly lost their first love.

As time has continued, in the last year, I have been given a wonderful opportunity to preach the Gospel in many different churches and to meet believers that I would not have otherwise known this side of eternity.
Yet, over and over, the same themes resurface in their lives wherever I have been.Christians in America today seem to be apathetic and  dispirited; the reason is many have forsaken the joy of the Creator for the pleasure of the creature.
And the creature is ourselves.

This brings questions to my mind.

For example → What would happen if we lived as if God' will 'on Earth as in Heaven' had already been answered and fulfilled?
I mean, we pray this in the Lord's model prayer; we've been taught this since childhood and every football team offers this praiseworthy statement to the heavens before every kickoff.

Seriously, what would happen if we lived as if the prayer had already been answered?

One thing that would stop is the Church fights and upheavals over incidental issues like the music that is used during the worship services, and this would happen across denominational lines.
While I will agree the descent of lyrics from 'Paradise Lost' to 'Awesome God' symbolizes the decline of Christian intelligence and desire for beauty in language, still the heart of worship behind both remain very similar. 

Approaching music within the Church with the attitude of glorifying God and worshiping Him rather than being stuck on any one style → this is the key to peace on this matter; for we all have a song of praise to sing in our hearts to God, it is only the melody which is different; the Lord is the same.

Another thing that would stop is this embracing of fallacy preaching which teaches if a person's life is not headed in the direction of happiness and wealth, then they must not be believing enough or praying enough.
Friend → Some of the most faithful people I have known have suffered the greatest trials in their lives and it wasn't because of sin; it was because of God's Sovereignty.

May I remind the reader that at 38 years old I was diagnosed with Stage Four, terminal cancer?
When we suffer as Christians, it isn't always about what we have done in our lives; sometimes it is about other people and the witness and impact God can make through us into their hearts as we remain faithful.

Health and Wealth preaching never occurred to the Puritans.
If we lived as we pray each day, it would never occur to us again as being accurate.

This idea of a Christian being a slave to the Church or a rebel against the mainstream would also end.
There are Christians who will protest everything, but if we were faithful in what we are commanded to be faithful with, the protests and anger would end.

For example, there are Christians who go around the globe and protest the deforestation of the jungles; believing it is bad stewardship and we are sinning against God be killing the trees for human uses.
Well, if every Christian was a good steward, as commanded and as we pray to be, this would be a thing of the past. Take for instance the fact that if every Christian in America recycled every envelope and daily newspaper we receive, there would be no such thing as deforestation anywhere in the world.

And the same is true of other social issues that have a liberal bent - the food we throw away without touching for those who are hungry, filling the empty houses in America with the homeless (the houses outnumber the homeless) and countless other practical ways to be good stewards.
If we did what we pray we want to do and are commanded to do, many of these issues would disappear.

The modern Fundamentalist movement would also be curbed and maybe ended.
I don't mean the Fundamental belief in the 'Five Fundamentals of the Faith,' but rather the 'additions' to the Five Fundamentals that are supposed to help us live a holy life.
The Five Fundamentals of the Faith are as follows:

The Virgin Birth of Christ

The Sinless Nature of Christ

The Atonement of Christ

The Resurrection of Christ

The Imminent Return of Christ

Now, if a Christian believes in these five things, by definition they are a Fundamentalist.
I would argue that any person who DOES NOT believe in these Five Truths, they are not Christians at all, but something else; a quasi-Christian at best.

If we lived as we pray, these Five would stand out and the pettiness of modern fundamentalism, which is nothing more than rehashed regulations from the Pharisees of old, would disappear. 
The reason is because man-made rules about the faith are always hypocritical.

For example, I know Christians who will not enter a certain drug store because the store sells hard liquor; yet, I have never heard anybody complain about the human rights violations or the Christian persecution of the Chinese when frequenting Wal-Mart. 

And I've always wondered why aren't the Church's appeal for funds and tithes ever focused on my need as a Christian to give?
Giving is a worship all its own; instead of trying to make people feel good about what they're giving for, maybe we ought to insist people give according to how God has blessed them and stress the stewardship of God's blessing in our lives.

But nowhere should 'on earth as in heaven' be more true than when it comes to God's amazing Grace.
While I can give you example after example of Americans abusing their freedoms; I can give you just as many examples of Christians abusing the grace they have been given by God.

Scripture gives us high ideals straight from God with regards to living a holy live in honor of Him; but it also stresses that we are given a wonderful safety net called grace when we falter.
What this tells us is that our salvation, our walk, our restoration and our life with Christ is not dependent on meeting God's ideal.
In fact, little of the faith is dependent on us; yet, we are dependent on what Christ has done on the Cross and in our lives, giving us sufficient grace for all things.

As Christians, we ought to strive toward a holy life; but at the same time, rather than pettiness, we ought to be able to relax in His grace.
You see, Christians are nothing more than a people who are dependent on God above all things; and being dependent on God means that we are dependent on His grace.

As He has given to us, so we should give to others; in particular, those who do not deserve it because if any of us deserved it, it would not be called grace.

Until next time, win one for the good guys.

Grace Toward All

How does it feel to be thought of as a 'Religious Zealot?'

Most American Christians would never think of themselves as being a 'zealot,' yet this newly christened title has been given to any church or Christian who dares stand on Biblical, moral ground.

It seems all views and lifestyles are to be appreciated, valued and honored; except those which seek to glorify God.

Christians once held a majority in America; when we did not, at least for many years society was sympathetic to our values.
It is hard to criticize family, truth and living clean; at least, that use to be true.
In recent years, Christians have been categorized as hypocrites, mean-spirited, greedy and a thousand other negative words could be inserted here.

The very last word that anyone would ever use to describe a Christian is the word 'love,' and yet, it is love which is the very thing that Jesus said that would cause others to know that we are His and children of God.

Today, Christians are falling into a trap of apathy laid before us by society, the devil, liberals - whoever you want to blame. It doesn't matter because it is a trap that is killing our faith from within.

Many people in society no longer have a moral sense of right and wrong; those that do, are looked on oddly and often, they will compromise.
But I don't understand why one would compromise their personal beliefs or values.
Is a person's individual morality so fragile that it does not matter if they stand by it?

If a person, Christian or otherwise, betrays their own morality, they betray themselves and will eventually, at some point, betray their Lord - many times unaware.

Society's values and morals are ambiguous at best in our age, and this is sad.
Middle Eastern Christians have an advantage over those of us in the West in this regard.
You see, living in a country dominated by Islam, there is a moral standard forced on everyone which must be followed; our freedom is unknown. To our brothers and sisters in that region, they prefer that situation rather than being in the United States with its decadence.
In many Middle Eastern countries, there is no alcohol, no pornography for people to buy or become addicted to, and there is little premarital sex. 

Because of this, Christians of that region don't have many of the societal problems we have in America - BUT - love cannot be forced.
If it is forced, then it cannot be love; rather it is assault.

Yes, our morality in society is ambiguous at best but there is still space for the black and white morality and truth of God's Word to surface at the public altar - as long as it is done with sincerity, compassion and in love.

Many Christians go into the public square looking for converts or conquests; some ministers even section off age groups as 'targets.'
Well, I never wanted to shoot a human being, so I just looked at people as people and would advise any Christian to approach non-believers in love and not with an agenda.

You see, most issues and problems in Western society stems from bad moral choices by the individual.

Western governments try to sugar-coat issues, throw money at problems, buy votes with tax dollars, but when our problems are boiled down to its basic root - most of America's problems come from the wrong moral choices of the individual. 
It is to these 'bad moral choices' to which the Christian can speak to with God's Truth in His love.

At this moment in America, the hot-button issue has been anointed as 'gay rights.'
I never realized any person had any less civil rights than I did, but I digress.

In this debate, much has been confused; to the point where those holding to traditional values are dubbed 'religious zealots' and people like Bruce Jenner is called heroes.
Neither of these titles are accurate - we are, however, people with opposing views.

The government of the United States does not, generally speaking, restrict the civil rights of its citizens; however, the government does restrict and prohibit behaviors.
In America, we do not legislate our morality; instead, we legislate against immorality. 
For example, there is not a law in the world that can make you love your enemies; so, the government passes laws to keep us from killing our enemies. 
A Citizen is not prevented from hating, disliking or being mean to another person; but we are prevented from harming them; our beliefs are tolerated while immoral behavior is prohibited. 

Christians have listened to the arguments concerning homosexuals desiring to marry for several years; it has been as long as it has been confusing for millions of people.
What many have missed is the fact that marriage is to benefit society; this is done through the structure of the family being the building block for all civil institutions and the rearing of children as good citizens.
The proponents of homosexual marriage never addressed either of these two issues, nor did Christian lawyers battling them, which makes no sense because marriage is not primarily for the individuals within the institution, but rather, its main benefit is for those outside of the marriage itself.

During the debates and arguments, very few wanted to plainly say that homosexuality is a moral issue; the reason is because Christians don't like to be ridiculed and belittled as 'hate-mongers,' 'ignorant' or the like. 

The truth is that homosexuality is a moral issue; but so is divorce.
And what has confused many Christians is the fact that we will argue against one while excusing behavior concerning the other. 

If modern Christians will open up their eyes and their hearts towards those who are different from ourselves, we may very well be in a position as no other time in history to allow God's love, compassion, mercy, kindness and grace speak to others and help heal wounds as no generation has before.

The traditional 'All or Nothing' attitude of Christianity has to go by the wayside.
Let's be clear, I am not saying our moral truth has changed or Christianity should 'modify' our Lord's commands. I am saying, we need to accept those different from us in grace and compassion, without condoning sin, so that they might be reached with the Gospel.

In the early 1970's, the main moral and societal issue in America was abortion; the Supreme Court would eventually decide in January 1973 to legalize abortion in the United States.
But there is more to this sad, cold January day than just the basic facts.
Few realize that if the leaders of the Abortion groups and the leaders of the Christian Church would have sat down and hammered out an agreement for Congress to legislate which outlined everything that the two sides agreed on with this issue, 97% of all abortions between January 1973 and today would have been avoided.

And do you know what they agreed on in 1973?
Abortion in cases of rape, incest, and in cases where the life of the mother was in danger.

That generation of Christians weren't wrong to oppose abortion; we still aren't today.
That being said, they could have still opposed abortion, stayed true to moral convictions, and saved literally millions upon millions of unborn children.
But they wouldn't even consider anything but full victory or total defeat, and they suffered defeat.

Friends, our Christian absolutes cannot be imposed on those who do not share our Christian beliefs and values.
We must be willing to separate the sin and the sinner; isn't that what God has chosen to do with each person He welcomes into His Kingdom?

In the 1980's, the Christian Church of all denominations and flavors lost millions of people over the issue of homosexuality and HIV/AIDS.
Christians were more known for speaking out against the person dying of this 'new' disease, believing for a short time that the only way to contract the disease was through immoral, personal decisions and actions.

In that era, it was true that the majority of those dying of HIV/AIDS contracted the disease because of homosexual acts.
But it is today unthinkable to imagine a person who would say, 'HIV is God's punishment on those people and I support it!!!'

You see, regardless of how an individual contracted HIV/AIDS, they are still sick and suffering.
And it doesn't matter if it was God's punishment or not; it isn't my punishment and I'm not God. I am, however, called as His child to extend His compassion and grace.

The Gospel presents high ideals and morals with an all-encompassing grace.
It has been very difficult as a Christian to stay faithful to those ideals and morals by the letter of the law while also extending and living in His all-encompassing grace.

Often the Church and even as individual Christians, we will tilt to one side or the other.
We will either lower our morality and Christ's ideal, adjusting His truth downward to rationalize behavior OR we will pull in the boundaries of grace, drawing lines in the sand as we proclaim some sins worse than others.

Unfortunately, Christians are very good at being angry at other people whose sins are different than their own.

Here's a truth - Most Christians do not have one person that they would openly call their friend.....who is a homosexual. 
Most Conservative, Evangelical Christians simply do not know how to deal with a person who is gay or bisexual. 
Many simply have not been taught as to how to break down the barriers which artificially separate us. 
We can maintain our Christian beliefs, stay faithful to our Lord and still cultivate relationships which glorify Him without condoning the sinful lifestyles or behaviors of others. 
We can love them in His truth; kindness and grace cost nothing, but means the world to those who are hurting.

If you are wondering how to deal with people who are so vastly different than the people whom they usually interact with on a daily basis, it's fairly easy. 
All you need to do is remember that they don't need judgment, sneers. or to be looked down upon.
They need you and I to be that representative of God's grace and mercy, because they need a God who offers compassion and hope.

In short, they need the same thing you and I need from God - understanding, love and grace.
As we have been given, so should we give to others.

Until next time, win one for the good guys.